The things or habits in your partner that turn you off or annoy you are the deal breakers. You must always be careful about this before getting seriously involved with someone. This article provides you with a checklist for your potential relationships and ensures that your connection will progress better.
Common Deal Breakers In A Relationship
Not liking children.
If you don’t prefer having kids in the future or if you have a dislike for kids in general, this is a deal breaker for your partner if they are looking for a long-term relationship. So make yourself clear at the very start of your relationship, whatever your choice is.
If your partner is a non-smoker or a non-drinker and you have these habits, it is wise to talk about it beforehand. This issue becomes a major cause of fights between couples, breaking up eventually. Whichever your side is, talk about it clearly with your partner and sort things out.
Different music tastes.
Believe it or not, different music preferences are deal breakers for many people. People bond over music; if two people have opposite tastes, that may be a problem later. Discuss your likes and dislikes on the initial dates to know your partner’s preferences and the growing relationship.
Long-distance relationships are difficult to work out. There will be communication and trust issues, and it will be difficult to bond with each other. So if you or your partner has to move somewhere else for work or other reasons, discuss it before you get seriously involved with each other.
Lack of punctuality
This is a huge turn-off for many people. If you or your partner are always late for your dates or movie nights, keeping the other one waiting for too long, can eventually become an issue. So, try to be disciplined, and tell each other if this problem upsets you.
Honesty and trust are the pillars of any relationship. If you lie to your partner, especially for trivial reasons, that will become a later problem in your relationship. As they say, once a liar, always a liar. So, avoid lying to each other and communicate clearly for better understanding.
Reasons to Never Lie to Someone:
- It is immoral.
- It causes you stress.
- It restricts your mental growth.
- You will tend to forget about it.
- You are being disrespectful and selfish.
- You will have a problem coping with it later.
- You are cowardly.
- People know a false ‘you.’
- When you get caught, it’s embarrassing.
- It can cost you big.
Conflicts in the family of two lovers turn out to be one of the couples’ most common deal breakers. Family is important to us, so we must be clear regarding what they think of our partner. If they disapprove of the relationship, we must try to solve the differences first.
Your manners and habits are very important. You must know how to behave appropriately at a restaurant or with others. If you don’t have basic etiquette, the other person will consider it a deal breaker if you don’t have basic etiquette. Know when to say thank you, please, or sorry.
You will be loved for the person you are. Don’t go for artificial beauty hacks like fake hair or breasts. Nobody appreciates your efforts to give a fake good impression, and the relationship will end. The idea is to be as genuine as possible. Let people see the real ‘you.’
Being a cheapo.
Sorry, but nobody likes to date a person who doesn’t want to spend money on their partner. Yes, you should never splurge unnecessarily on your partner, but you should make some effort. For example, when you go to a restaurant, always offer to split the bill or pay in turns.
To love someone with all your heart, you must love yourself first. If your partner feels you have low self-esteem, they will never think highly of you. So, if you want a relationship based on mutual respect and kindness, learn to respect and adore yourself first. You matter the most.
It’s okay if you have lots of money. You don’t have to be obsessed about that. But, on the other hand, never be too much of a show-off about that in front of your partner. Everyone wants a humble, confident partner who doesn’t depend on their wealth to woo someone.
Unimportant Things People Brag About:
- How much someone can drink.
- Lavish places someone has eaten at.
- How athletic someone is.
- How sexually active someone is.
- How nerdy someone is.
- How brave someone is in verbal fights.
- How successful and wealthy someone’s family is.
- How many relationships someone has had.
- How successful someone’s favorite sports team is.
- How good a parent someone is.
There is no ‘me’ in a relationship- it’s always ‘us.’ That is the biggest deal breaker ever if you always think about your benefit or welfare from the relationship and care the least about your partner’s likes and wishes. Learn to make sacrifices, and consider your partner’s wishes more important.
If you don’t have a job or at least something to work on, that can be a deal breaker, especially for long-term relationships. On the other hand, if you and your partner are thinking of a future together, you must be clear regarding the job issue for both of you.
Living in the past.
If you are still not over your ex, that will affect your present relationship. Nobody likes to be with someone who is mentally or emotionally invested in someone else. So, always be in a relationship, knowing that the burden of your past will not bother you and you are happy.
With addicted people, there is no security and honesty in a relationship. Nobody will want to spend time helping their partner get over their addiction issues, and the relationship will end sooner than you can expect. So, always be clear if you or your partner have addiction issues to consider.
Many people go through depression, anxiety, emotional unavailability, and many other issues. Always remember that partners have no obligation to fix each other. So, if you are considering a relationship with someone, make sure you are mentally and emotionally stable and available. Don’t let any psychological issue ruin your relationship.
Consider it a major turn-off if you are constantly critical of your partner. As partners, you can help each other realize their mistakes. But, if your words and actions always give a negative vibe, the relationship will not last long. So instead, try to be a supportive and positive partner.
Ways to Stop Criticizing Others:
- Don’t blame yourself for having this bad habit.
- Be mindful of what you think and say.
- Depersonalize others’ behavior.
- Look for the good things in them.
- Remember that you are also one of them.
- Reframe their words to find out a positive note.
- Look at your mistakes.
- Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
- Feel better about yourself.
You may laugh out loud, but this is a genuine concern for many couples. If your partner is very proper and disciplined in every matter, you must be careful about these trivial matters. Always ensure fresh breath, especially when you are on a romantic date or intimate with your partner.
Kissing is an intimate and special moment for lovers. So, if you don’t play your cards right, your partner may push away from you. It takes time to understand each other physically, but make efforts to be better kissers. Know what to do and what not to do while kissing.
Replying to your partner’s long texts with a few words can be a big turn-off. It just says that you are not paying attention to them. So, you must be careful about the conversation flow you share with your partner via text, especially in the initial days of your relationship.
If you are living with your partner and snore loudly while you sleep at night, that will be a serious deal breaker. Since this is a physical issue, you can always try medications to help you with the problem. If you have any serious problem, discuss it with your partner.
Being in a relationship never gives you the right to be rude or offensive to your partner. If you get angry on trivial matters and behave rudely with your partner, that will upset them, and they will get over the relationship. So, always be kind in your words and actions.
If you or your partner have a toxic personality, the other person will break up the relationship as soon as they understand that trait. Try to get rid of all your mental and emotional toxicity before getting involved with someone. Never be the reason for someone’s lack of mental peace.
Signs You Are in A Toxic Relationship:
- You don’t have a sense of security.
- Communication is nonexistent.
- You always feel neglected by your partner.
- You feel lost and empty.
- You are judgmental about each other constantly.
- You feel ashamed of things you should not be.
- There is no empathy.
- You find yourself playing a dysfunctional role.
- You feel manipulated by your partner.
- You find rage and dissatisfaction growing in your heart.
Small habits like making noises while eating or talking very loudly in public can be turn-offs for your partner. Always have proper manners and don’t do or say something that appears gross or inappropriate. Know what irritates them and never do that. Your manners speak a lot about your personality.
Lack of trustworthiness.
Trust is an important part of a relationship. Therefore, if your behavior and actions towards your partner make them feel they cannot trust you, it becomes a deal breaker and leads to greater relationship problems. Make them feel that they are close to you and can trust you with everything.
Talking a lot.
To be a good partner, try to be a good listener. If you are doing all the talking in the relationship, your partner might feel neglected, creating an imbalance in your relationship. So always ensure your partner gets to speak their heart out to you as much as you can.
Well-groomed people always expect their partners to be so as well. This is very important if you have reached a stage in your relationship where you become physically intimate often. Be careful of your hygiene and make efforts to keep yourself well-maintained. Know what your partner wants regarding this aspect.
Bad drinking etiquette.
If you are not a controlled social drinker, that can be a problem for your partner. Avoid being a mean drunk in front of your partner, and if you can’t control yourself while drinking, refrain from doing so when you are with them. Manners matter a lot in a relationship.
Different preferences in sports.
If you and your partner are fans of a particular game, problems might arise when you support different teams. People find it easier to bond when they like the same football/cricket team or player. So, try to know more about their preferences and see if they match yours.
Ways to Be a Good Partner:
- Develop a strong emotional connection.
- Show physical intimacy.
- Respect and validate your partner.
- Be committed to the person and the relationship.
- Have open communication.
- Be your partner’s best friend.
- Have sexual chemistry.
- Give them your undivided attention.
- Build your relationship on trust and compassion.
- Learn to forgive and forget.
These are some common deal breakers to keep in mind while getting into a new relationship, or even if you have been together for a long time. If you think any of these applies to your relationship, talk about it and sort things out before it becomes a bigger issue.
Ways to Fight Depression:
- Recognize yourself in the situation.
- Exercise regularly.
- Know that today doesn’t speak of tomorrow.
- Don’t overgeneralize your feelings.
- Do the opposite of what you feel like doing.
- Set goals you are sure you can attain.
- Reward your efforts to get better.
- Follow a routine regularly.
- Do what keeps you happy.
- Listen to music.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships