Emotional Intimacy In A Marriage: 5+ Reasons

Emotional intimacy in a relationship happens when partners have mutual positive emotions. Emotional intimacy is a must-have for all couples to have a successful relationship. It helps you develop a strong foundation for your love and understanding and ensures you fight the most difficult battles of life together with compassion. 

Types Of Intimacy In A Relationship

The different forms of intimacy have been discussed below.

1. Physical Intimacy 

The intimacy achieved through all forms of physical contact is physical intimacy. From holding hands and hugging to cuddling and having sex, you can achieve physical intimacy with your partner in several ways. To do so, ensure the touch barrier between you is broken, and you have a better understanding.

2. Emotional Intimacy 

You must be with someone with whom you can share your deepest emotions. This includes expressing both positive and negative feelings to your partner. Learn to create a balance between the positive and negative things you share with each other because otherwise, you will not succeed in developing emotional intimacy.

3. Intellectual Intimacy

You can achieve intellectual intimacy in your marriage when you are comfortable sharing your genuine thoughts and opinions with your partner. It is not about always agreeing to the same thing but having the reassurance that you can confidently speak what you truly feel, knowing your partner will understand you.

4. Creative Intimacy

Developing creative intimacy boosts your relationship to a great extent. Art and other forms of creativity are the easiest way to express yourself genuinely. Therefore, if you can foster creative intimacy with your partner by expressing your authentic self, understanding and empathy will be very easy for you to manifest.

5. Aesthetic Intimacy

If you can share your appreciation for beauty with your partner‘s support and consideration, you have aesthetic intimacy in your marriage. This helps you align your feelings and opinions with your partner. For example, learn to appreciate a painting or a movie together; share what you feel from your heart.

6. Work Intimacy

This form of intimacy is better developed in people who share the workplace. A feeling of camaraderie reassures you constantly that you can work with your partner easily and succeed together. This professional intimacy can also be cultivated in personal relationships where couples share their responsibilities with dedication and honesty.

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Ways to have a better workplace ambiance:

  • Set up the proper lighting.
  • Have a window.
  • Have an organized desk.
  • Have plants around you.
  • Be particular about your posture,
  • Adjust your screen brightness appropriately.
  • Avoid distractions around you.
  • Give yourself a break now and then.
  • Drink lots of water and have regular snacks.
  • Follow a to-do list.

7. Recreational Intimacy

It’s very important for you as a couple to spend quality time together. So, no matter how busy you are with your work and other priorities, learn to develop recreational intimacy. Do fun activities together that help you develop a better understanding and also increase your attraction for each other.

8. Experiential Intimacy

As a couple, you must have new experiences together every day. This allows you to spend more time with each other and create memories that you will cherish forever. So, share your experiences with your partner so that your equation leads to better experiential intimacy. Travel more and have fun

9. Social Intimacy.

This form of intimacy grows when you and your partner have the same social circle. Hang out with your partner’s friends as much as you do with yours. This allows you to validate your partner’s presence in your life, and they know you respect and love their close ones too.

10. Spiritual Intimacy

Spirituality gives a new dimension to any relationship. Therefore, discuss your spiritual beliefs with your partner openly. This will give you a fresh perspective on your marriage, and if you can agree with your partner regarding the purpose and meaning of life, it is a great intimacy boost for you.

Reasons why emotional intimacy is important for marriage:

  1. It helps improve overall well-being. When you are emotionally intimate with someone, it promotes your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. You are free of unwanted stress and anxiety resulting from marital problems. You understand each other better, and even if you have problems, you manage to solve them efficiently together.
  2. It gives you better sexual satisfaction. You cannot have a blissful sex life if you are not emotionally attached to your partner. So, developing emotional intimacy in marriage leads you to have a better sex life where you can love your spouse for who they are- body, mind, and soul.

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Tips for a better sex life:

  • Be more physically affectionate.
  • Educate yourself first.
  • Give yourself time to learn everything.
  • Be comfortable with touching.
  • Use lubricants.
  • Experiment with positions.
  • Keep a mental note of your fantasies.
  • Do Kegel exercises.
  • Relax; don’t overstress.
  • Use sex toys.
  1. It helps you overcome physical and mental disorders. If you’ve been suffering from disorders that obstructed your way of finding love and trust in relationships, emotional intimacy can help you overcome them. You have someone who is always there to take care of you and support you in all difficulties.
  2. It makes you believe in love. Emotional intimacy in your marriage strengthens your faith in true love and compassion. You will no longer be afraid of opening up to others when you find someone who will protect you and make you feel comfortable. You will see the good in everything.
  3. It improves your mental health. If you have always had bad experiences in relationships, emotional intimacy might help you heal the wounds. You have better mental health when you find yourself surrounded by hope and positivity, bundled up in one person. You have the peace you truly deserve in life.
  4. It makes you a better listener. You must learn to be a good listener. Paying attention to your partner is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond with your partner. When you have emotional intimacy, you feel responsible for listening carefully to what your partner has to say.
  5. It helps you become more supportive. The core strength of a marriage lies in partners supporting and motivating each other unconditionally. You are more dedicated to your partner’s needs and wishes with increased emotional intimacy. You will support each other in every endeavor without bothering about the difficulties awaiting you.
  6. It helps you develop better communication. We know communication is an important factor in a relationship. With emotional intimacy, communication becomes easier. You can talk to your partner about anything, knowing they would never misinterpret or criticize your opinions and feelings. So, all forms of communication are productive and optimistic.
  7. It maintains balance in your relationship. Equal interaction is very important in every relationship. So, if you share a lot with your partner but they don’t reciprocate, you must fix the balance in your marriage. Developing better emotional intimacy is the best way to do that. Make yourself feel comfortable.

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Ways to have a more balanced relationship:

  • Communicate more effectively.
  • Respect each other’s privacy.
  • Accept disagreements positively.
  • Be concerned about your partner’s likes and dislikes.
  • Build trust and generosity.
  • Commit to the relationship but don’t make over-adjustments.
  • Don’t be too dependent on each other.
  • Figure out your attributes.
  • Be honest about yourself and your relationship.
  1. Your love and respect are promoted. Emotional intimacy is the only way to keep the spark in your relationship alive. If you don’t feel about each other the same way you did earlier, it is because of a lack of emotional intimacy. It promotes dedication and responsibility towards your marriage.

Ways To Build Emotional Intimacy In A Marriage

  1. Don’t be in a hurry. Everything is a process, and it takes time. So, don’t try to develop emotional intimacy with your partner overnight. It takes time to resolve conflicts, developing mutual understanding and acceptance that eventually leads to the growth of emotional intimacy. Work on the marital issues first.
  2. Communicate effectively. To have a transparent relationship, you have to communicate openly. Intimacy comes when you can understand each other and assess your situation. So, avoid being offensive or aggressive to each other instead of solving your issues, and discuss how you can be more emotionally intimate with each other.
  3. Show empathy to your partner. If you always take your partner for granted, you’ll never develop empathy and understanding towards them, and consequently, no emotional intimacy will form. So, instead of paving the way for a mental divide, be empathetic towards each other. Don’t bottle up your emotions and opinions.
  4. Don’t be afraid to apologize. Understand it’s normal to make mistakes. So, look at the situation positively instead of feeling hurt or offended. Don’t be afraid to say sorry if you have hurt or misbehaved with your partner. There is nothing humiliating in accepting that you are not always perfect.

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Reasons to say sorry when you are wrong:

  • You learn to be more self-aware.
  • You learn to be more responsible.
  • It helps you repair your relationships.
  • It makes you a more humble person.
  • It boosts your mental growth.
  • It helps you avoid unnecessary disputes.
  • It promotes attachment in your relationships.
  • It teaches you to be a better problem-solver.
  • It teaches you to let go of your grudges.
  • It teaches you to treat others respectfully.
  1. Appreciate your partner. Positive affirmation is a great way to promote emotional intimacy. Make your partner feel loved and validated, and not just on special days. Regular appreciation keeps you closer to each other, and hence you will love and adore each other more intimately. This will boost emotional intimacy.
  2. Don’t stick to a routine. Being too involved in your work and other external priorities leaves you no time for relationships. So, break your routine now and then and take a break. Spend time with your partner and overcome the stress and anxiety resulting from your duties and other stuff.
  3. Be flirty with your partner. Flirting with your partner never goes out of style, even after you’re married. This keeps the curiosity and energy in your relationship alive. Go on surprise dates, have sex, slip a love note, and make them feel wanted. Consequently, your emotional intimacy will be boosted.
  4. Cherish loving memories together. Take a day off and revisit a place where your romance started. Read your partner’s favorite book or listen to their favorite song all afternoon. Memories can work wonders. So, creating more lovely memories will keep you bound to each other in love and affection forever.
  5. Go on dates more frequently. Instead of waiting for a birthday or an anniversary to go on a date with your partner, have frequent dates. You don’t always have to go out; you can always choose a stay-at-home date idea. The central idea is to spend more quality time together.
  6. Learn new things together. Choose a hobby, something you can do together. This will boost your creative skills and also allow you to spend more time together. You can go salsa dancing, learn painting or pottery, whatever floats your boat. This will increase physical and emotional intimacy in your marriage.


We now understand how important emotional intimacy is in all relationships, especially marriages. So, if you want to understand your partner and love better and support them unconditionally, you must work on developing emotional intimacy first. A genuine exchange of emotions is essential to develop a stronger bond between lovers.

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Little things you can say to make your partner feel loved:

  • I am proud to be your partner.
  • Every time I see you, I want to be a better person myself.
  • I love myself when I am with you.
  • You inspire me in every way possible.
  • I genuinely appreciate you for being there in my life.
  • I am sorry if I’ve been hurtful or rude to you.
  • No matter what, I will always have your back.
  • Thank you for challenging me to be a better person every day.
  • Thank you for bringing out the best in me.
  • I support you unconditionally.

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