Sex is undoubtedly an important part of a romantic relationship. But before you get intimate with your partner, understand if this relationship is purely sexual or if there is some emotional bonding between you. Here are some signs to help you understand if he just wants to sleep with you.
He only texts you late at night.
Our bodies start having sexual cravings mostly at night, and it’s perfectly normal. But if your guy only texts you during that time of the night, it’s a clear sign he only wants sex. If he doesn’t bother to text you throughout the day, he is least concerned about you.
He is pissed off when he doesn’t get Netflix and chill.
Suppose you ask your guy to come over for movie night. If he wants to sleep with you, he gets frustrated the moment you tell him that you don’t want to have sex that day. He would want to go home because he isn’t getting what he came for.
You never see his friends.
A guy who just wants to sleep with you will always see how he can ghost you without any trouble. So, you have very little information about his life- his address, friends, and whereabouts. So, even if he disappears suddenly, you would have no way to communicate with him again.
He has a problem with you sleeping over.
Do you hear your guy frequently telling you that he has a ‘thing’ early morning the next day? Well, he just wants to sleep with you. He is clever enough not to ask you directly to leave because that is rude, and he would have trouble getting his next hookup.
He never lets you leave stuff behind.
If a guy always makes sure you take all of your belongings with you before leaving his place, that is because he doesn’t want you to come back looking for those things, at times he’s not okay with. He avoids your unwanted arrival because he is hiding things from you.
You’ve never had a real date with him.
A guy who only wants sex from you will not bother pampering you with love and making you feel special. So, if he is reluctant to go out on a date with you or spend time anywhere other than the bedroom, it’s a sign that he doesn’t want a relationship.
Tips if you are going on a first date:
- Choose the perfect spot.
- Be careful about safety; do a background check before you go.
- Dress confidently but comparable.
- Don’t overstress yourself.
- Make sure your compliments are witty and thoughtful.
- Ask smart questions.
- Fix a budget; don’t try to show off.
- Be mindful of your body language.
- Use positive language.
- Make a mental note of the red flags.
For him, sex is the date.
Does your guy always insist on splitting the pizza cost after you’ve had sex? This is a smart way to make you think as if you are having a date. For him, dates with you only happen when you have sex. He pretends as if he’s very responsible towards you.
He has no time to listen to your problems.
A guy who just wants to sleep with you will never support and sympathize with you during tough times. If you are sad or depressed, he will never be there for you. Since he is only interested in sex, your texts are irrelevant unless you are dirty talking to him.
He is always keen on initiating sex.
Even when you are hanging out, he keeps asking if you can go back to his place. Think about a day when you were together for a couple of hours but didn’t have sex. If nothing comes to your mind, the guy is just interested in having sex with you.
His gifts are only sexual.
If the only gifts your guy has ever given you are slutty dresses, provocative underwear, or sex toys, you already know he just wants sex. A man who truly wants you will bring you flowers, chocolates, or a nice dress- things that make you feel special. But this guy won’t.
All your conversations are sexual.
Just go through your chats with him. If your conversation started with ‘Hey! What are you doing?’ has ended with dirty talk, you are with someone who is always having sex with you in his mind. There is no such thing that tells you that you want each other emotionally.
You always leave parties early.
Suppose you are invited to a party. He will want to go back to his place as soon as you reach there. He has no interest in spending quality time with you and your friends or letting his friends know about you. Quality time has only one meaning to him-sex.
Common excuses people give before leaving a party early:
- My cat is sick.
- My dog met with an accident.
- I don’t feel well tonight.
- My babysitter is unavailable tonight.
- My parents are here for a surprise visit.
- My kid has a project to submit tomorrow.
- Something triggered my home alarm.
- I think I left the gas open.
- An important delivery came early.
His compliments are sexual.
His compliments for you are ‘hot’ and ‘sexy.’ He only considers you beautiful when you dress up provocatively. This guy will never appreciate you with no makeup or in your pajamas. Since he only has sex on his mind, he thinks you are beautiful only when you can arouse him.
The only room he knows is the bedroom.
Have you ever had coffee in your drawing room or cooked together in the kitchen? You will get nothing because no sooner he comes to your place, he aims for the bedroom. The only reason he would be interested in any other part of your house is his sexual fantasies.
He has no interest in knowing about you.
Since he only thinks about having sex with you, he is least interested in the other aspects of your life. He never asks you about your hobbies and passions, family and friends, or even your relationship. He has zero interest in anything you say to him apart from sexual things.
He is very vague about taking things seriously.
Whenever you start a conversation about your relationship and want to discuss things like if you see a future together, he is reluctant. He doesn’t think of it seriously because he has no intentions of having a proper relationship. He is just being nice enough not to say it directly.
Even when you are together, he acts distant.
Apart from the time you are having sex, he is always either busy on the phone or acts distant. Since he only focuses on sex, he can even pretend you are around for the rest of the time. This is mainly because he has developed no emotional attachment to you.
Sometimes, you cannot even reach him.
A guy who is only interested in having sex with you will ensure that you can’t reach him anytime. For instance, you keep texting and calling him for days, and he doesn’t respond, but he suddenly appears out of nowhere, saying he is busy. This unpredictability is proof of his reluctance.
If he kisses you, you are having sex.
Kisses and hugs are the purest forms of physical intimacy and may not lead to sex. But if your guy is kissing you with the intention of taking it further, he doesn’t value its capability to grow emotional intimacy. You can understand a lot from how a guy kisses you.
Tips to be a better kisser:
- Always keep your lips moisturized.
- Don’t eat pungent food if you are about to kiss.
- Have mints before you kiss.
- Follow your lover’s lead.
- Led the way if needed.
- Listing just doesn’t mean lips.
- Know other erogenous zones.
- Be confident.
- Communicate about your technique.
- Give positive feedback to each other.
There is no affectionate interaction.
Have you ever talked to each other for hours about how you appreciate each other’s presence in life? If not, there’s a possibility he only wants sex. Affectionate interaction is very important in relationships. If your man doesn’t understand the difference between sex and lovemaking, he will never appreciate you.
What to do if you know the guy only wants to have sex?
Sex is important in a relationship, but it’s not everything. So, if you are with a guy who only wants to have sex with you and is least interested in having an emotional relationship, you should not encourage it. Here are some things you can do to control the situation.
Avoid all forms of contact.
No matter how charming he is, avoid contacting him. Don’t go to parties where you can bump into him, and don’t return his calls and messages. Before you get too involved in a meaningless relationship, cut off all contact. Your self-respect and honor are more important than love and sex.
Don’t stalk him.
Even when you have cut off all contact, you might feel the urge to check his social media profiles and see what he is upto. Resist yourself because doing so will just make you want to contact him again. Know that you are doing the right thing by avoiding him.
Don’t suppress your feelings.
When you realize that a guy has been involved with you just to have sex, you are bound to feel hurt and ill-treated. Tell yourself that it’s perfectly normal to feel like this, and you will bounce back. Suppressing your emotions will create a heap of negative feelings in you.
Accept your relationship with him the way it was.
Before you try moving on, you have to acknowledge that you shared a purely sexual relationship with him. Don’t even encourage the notion that there was probably more to it than you thought because this will create false expectations. Acceptance makes it easier to move on from a bad relationship.
Don’t blame yourself.
Often, women think that something they said or did led the guy to be only sexually interested in them. They blame themselves and end up being depressed and pessimistic. You must realize that some men are just like that, and it has nothing to do with you or your sexuality.
Never forget his bad qualities.
Even when you feel like going back to home, remind yourself of the things about him that made you end this relationship. Always remember how he ill-treated you or just wanted to have a sexual relationship. These mental notes will help you get over him and the relationship more quickly.
Be neutral about your feelings.
You will feel anger, resentment, and deceit every time you think of him. While it’s okay to have bitter feelings, do not let them overpower you. Neutrally assess your emotions and always focus on your emotional growth for a more realistic evaluation of the situation. You will move on easily.
Pen down your thoughts.
You know that a diary can be your best friend, right? Whatever you are feeling, write them down. This will relieve you of the emotional burden, and you can also view things from a better perspective. Make a list of the things that made you come out of this relationship.
Focus on your hobbies and passions.
To divert yourself from developing negative thoughts, do something constructive. Pick a hobby or do things you are passionate about. Set goals you want to achieve and work hard to fulfill them. This gives you determination and positivity to get rid of bad feelings and work on making yourself better.
Focus on the present.
Instead of lingering over what happened in your past relationship, focus on the present. Utilize the opportunities life has given you, and never stop believing in love. Enjoy life by yourself, and you will find someone who loves you for who you are and not just wants to have sex.
It is never okay to be involved with someone who just wants to have sex with you. It is extremely harmful to your mental health and might ruin your perspective toward love and sex. Always believe that you deserve the best and all good things await you in the future.
Signs Of an abusive relationship:
- Your partner tries to control you.
- Your partner yells at you.
- Your partner treats you with contempt.
- Your partner is very defensive about their behavior.
- Your partner threatens to hurt you.
- Your partner gives you the silent treatment.
- Your partner plays the blame game.
- Your partner tries to gaslight you.
- Your partner isolates you out of nowhere.
- Your partner is physically violent.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships