How to Deal with A Jealous Girlfriend: 20+ Steps

A little bit of jealousy and insecurity is very normal in all relationships. But if you have an overly jealous girlfriend, there are certain strategies you must know if you want to handle the situation carefully.

In this article, we discuss several efficient ways to deal with a jealous girlfriend.

Assure her when she is uncertain.

The first thing to do when your partner is nervous or insecure about something is to not react instantly. Take your time, and never lose your calm. She needs your reassurance at the moment, not criticism. So, do everything you can to ease her fear and make her feel comfortable.

Make her feel that she is a part of your life.

Try to take her to your important events and family gatherings so that she realizes that she is an important part of your life and you always want her to feel involved. If your partner is feeling jealous, the best way to fix things is to somewhat show them off.

Send her reassuring texts.

Suppose you are at work and you think your girlfriend might feel jealous that you are not giving her enough time. Text her frequently and tell her how busy you’re at work and how you will make up for it once you are free. People with insecurities need constant reassurance.

Be affectionate, especially when you are away. 

Suppose you’re not with your girlfriend, and she is going through a tough time or feeling insecure about your relationship. So, keep texting her reassuring texts that reflect your commitment and loyalty towards her. She’ll know that even though you aren’t with her, she has your undivided attention and affection. 

Remind her that you always have her back.

If your girlfriend expresses her insecurity about your relationship or thinks she might not have your support and motivation forever, remind her that you are always there to take care of her. She needs to know that even if there is no one else, you will never leave her side.

Stick to your boundaries in the relationship.

Every relationship has its unique dynamics. So, dealing with your girlfriend’s jealousy depends a lot on her personality and your equation with her. While a casual conversation works for some people, others are more intense and have to be handled very cautiously. So, you have to choose your strategy wisely.

Talk about what’s bothering her openly.

Before you deal with your girlfriend’s jealousy, you must know what is causing it. So, the best way to deal with such situations is to ask her directly. Make her feel comfortable and tell her that she can always discuss her insecurities openly with you without any fear of judgment.

Try to know her past experiences.

A person’s jealousy arises from their previous unfortunate experiences in life. It can be family issues or problems in their past relationships, but something leads them to mistrust everything and be insecure about their present relationships. So, knowing your girlfriend’s past will help you deal with the situation more efficiently.

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Ways to deal with trauma:

  • Don’t be too hard on yourself.
  • Slow down, and don’t let your mind spin.
  • Don’t ignore your physical health. Eat healthily. Take a rest.
  • Take a break and spend some time outdoors.
  • Exercise and do yoga to calm your body and mind.
  • Listen to yourself and find out what your body and mind need.
  • Don’t be scared to be around other people.
  • Discuss your feelings with someone you can trust.
  • Do your best to get back on track/
  • Reflect on what happened, don’t pinpoint it.

Find a solution together.

Let your girlfriend know that you accept her insecurities as normal and are willing to work on them as a couple. This makes her realize that you are validating your partner’s problems instead of isolating her or degrading her feelings or opinions, and you want to approach this problem together. 

Encourage her to have a social life.

Ask your girlfriend to engage in social interactions with her family and friends more often. Going out and enjoying her life will boost her confidence and self-esteem, consequently helping her overcome her insecurities. Encourage her to be her own support system instead of relying on someone else for emotional balance.

Maintain transparency about your life.

If you want to deal with your girlfriend’s jealousy, never give her the scope to develop insecurities. Always be transparent about your life, and don’t hide things from her. Tell her everything even before she asks because this way, she knows that you are making an effort to reassure her.

Help her understand her insecurity.

As a supportive partner, you must help your girlfriend find out the root cause of her jealousy. Let her discover the constant inner voice that exudes negativity and insecurity about everything in her life. This will not only help her get over her issues but also improve her emotional connection.

Share your perception of confidence with her.

Jealousy mostly arises from a lack of self-confidence. Your girlfriend doesn’t have enough faith in herself and this relationship. So, it might be helpful to discuss your views on confidence and what you do to boost your self-esteem. She will learn from you and try to work on her issues.

Encourage her to focus more on self-care.

Jealousy and a lack of confidence can negatively affect your girlfriend’s mental health, consequently affecting your relationship too. So, try to help her prioritize self-care. Tell her that they must invest in themselves. If you don’t work on yourself, you will never overcome your insecurities and have a healthy relationship.

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Ways to prioritize self-care:

  • Know that healthy eating is not enough; you have to be mindful too.
  • Keep a mental note of all the good things and accomplishments in your life.
  • Be grateful for what you have, and don’t have unrealistic expectations.
  • Don’t ignore the child in you.
  • Create a space that is comfortable and personal to you.
  • Read more books and listen to music to soothe your mind.
  • Take up a hobby and invest your time and effort in it.
  • Unplug yourself from all social and personal distractions.
  • Focus on your creative side and do something artistic you are passionate about.
  • Pamper yourself whenever you want to.

Ask her to think if her reasons for being jealous are legitimate.

If you think your girlfriend is in the mental state to have a peaceful conversation, sit down quietly and ask her to think well about what is causing her jealousy. Ask her to evaluate the root of her issue and decide if her assumptions and doubts are legitimate or not. 

Don’t let her obsess over the same thing.

If you want her to overcome her jealousy, try distracting her for a while and diverting her mind towards happier things. Jealousy usually results in negative thoughts and feelings that can ruin a person’s ability to think radically. So, before you sort things out, help her gain an optimistic approach.

Remember her trigger points.

You can deal with your girlfriend’s jealousy more efficiently if you know what triggers her and the things that usually make her jealous. Keep in mind the tough times you go through when she starts acting insecure and overthinking everything. So, the next time, avoid getting into similarly complicated situations.

Ask her to practice relaxation techniques.

Jealousy and insecurity can get you all worked up, and you will always end up being stressed out. So, if you find your girlfriend having trouble dealing with her insecurities, ask her to calm herself down first. There are several techniques you can use to control your emotions more efficiently.

Don’t get upset if they start attacking you.

It might happen that your girlfriend has trouble dealing with the stress and anxiety resulting from her jealousy and starts attacking you emotionally. If you lose your calm in such situations, you will end up having ugly fights. So, even if they are misbehaving because they are upset, don’t react.

Pause the conversation of your things getting worse.

If you see that having a conversation about her insecurities is stressing her out and things are taking a bad turn, step away from the discussion. Ask her to calm down, take a break and not think about the issue right away. She’ll know that you are not ill-treating her.

Always look at things from her perspective.

Before you start lashing out at your girlfriend for being insecure about this relationship or ignoring her feelings, pause for a moment and look at things from her point of view. Think why she’s acting this way and what you can do to calm her down and explain things radically.

Validate her emotions openly.

It’s important to let your girlfriend know that you are okay with her insecurities and that you know that it’s quite normal for her to feel this way. Choose your words carefully because she should never think you are disregarding her feelings or simply thinking that she is overthinking the situation.

Ask her to be honest about her jealousy.

If you think something is bothering your girlfriend, ask her to express her emotions openly. Doesn’t matter if she is upset or jealous; she should openly discuss the issue with you. Instead of bottling up her feelings, expressing them to you will help her deal with her insecurities more efficiently.

Always respect her private space.

In your attempt to be a supportive and empathetic partner, don’t step into her private space and make her do or say something she is not comfortable with. Wait for her to come and say why she feels jealous. This understanding behavior on your part will protect your emotional connection.

Spend time with her.

If your girlfriend expresses her jealousy, the best way to make her feel better is to spend time with her. Assure her that you will always choose her above everything, no matter what, and that you are ready to do everything to help her overcome her insecurities and be happy.

Go to therapy.

Sometimes, the problem of insecurity is so major in a relationship that it is improbable for one partner to deal with it by themselves. So, if you think your girlfriend’s jealousy is out of control, you have to immediately take her to couples therapy, where professionals can help you out.

Explain yourself.

If your girlfriend is being unreasonable, explain your situation clearly to her. Tell her why she has no reason to be jealous. For example, if she asks why you are late, explain to her that you were stuck with something. Candid, effective conversation is the best solution to your problems.

Watch out for toxic jealousy.

It’s okay to help your girlfriend overcome her jealousy but always be careful not to encourage toxic behavior. If her insecurities turn to abusive or offensive behavior with you, this is something you should never deal with. Don’t be afraid to openly express how you feel about their negative attitude.

Don’t let her spy on you.

If your girlfriend is jealous and suspicious, she will probably try to keep an eye on you constantly. Tell her why this is not such a good idea and that it might lead to ugly fights. Help her gain trust in you and reassure her that nothing will fall apart.

End the relationship if needed.

If your girlfriend’s jealousy is becoming intolerably toxic, you have to think twice if you are doing the right thing in trying to help her out. If you think this is affecting our mental peace or this relationship isn’t working out, it’s better to end things on a peaceful note.

CONCLUSION 

Jealousy and insecurity can cripple a relationship to the core. Being with an overly jealous and sensitive pattern can take a toll on your mental health. So, it depends on how much you can take. Trying to help her overcome insecurities is a good thing until it crosses a limit.

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Signs that you are in a satisfying relationship:

  • You are both optimistic people and approach problems positively.
  • Your conversations are meaningful, but you never make them lengthy.
  • You don’t base your relationship on social media.
  • You know the importance of cuddling as physical intimacy.
  • You can express your feelings openly without holding them back.
  • You have a very satisfying sex life.
  • You are like-minded people with common interests.
  • You never have disagreements regarding financial issues.
  • You share a similar sense of humor and laugh at the same jokes.
  • You never take each other for granted and spend quality time together.

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