Going through heartbreak is undoubtedly a difficult phase for everyone. You have mixed emotions about your relationship, and you don’t know how to deal with them. These quick tips will help you understand your situation better and move on to better things. Always remember that it is what it is.
Allow yourself to grieve.
Grief has different meanings for different people, and nobody can feel what you feel. The best thing to do is to let those emotions come rushing in. Acknowledge your feelings first- sadness, anger, guilt, betrayal, whatever it is. If you don’t identify your emotions, you cannot work to overcome them.
Focus on self-care.
Your heart is broken, and you are constantly thinking about it. It is obvious that you won’t be focusing on yourself during this time. The more you neglect self-care, the more difficult it is for you to come out of it. Don’t let anything affect your mental health or positivity.
Seek emotional support from your loved ones.
While many people choose to deal with their heartbreak by themselves, it’s always better to seek emotional support from someone who understands you very well. Spend more time with your family and friends, talk to them about your emotions, and let them help you come out of this bad phase.
Ways to be emotionally supportive:
- Ask questions to make the person feel better and comfortable.
- Listen to them intently; don’t interrupt while they are speaking.
- Validate their emotions even if you don’t instantly agree with them.
- Avoid being judgmental of their opinions and actions.
- Don’t try to advise them regarding what to do; just be there.
- Don’t try to make your support perfect; make it authentic.
- Help them get over self-doubt and low self-esteem.
- Be supportive of their approach to the problem.
- Provide them with physical affection, a quick hug, or a shoulder pat if needed.
- Do something to distract their mind and avoid the complicated situation for a moment.
Make a list.
Deal with this heartbreak practically. Make a list of the things that are troubling you, and also note down what would make you feel better; things you can do to come out of this heartbreak and move on. Be clear to yourself first; express your needs and feelings on paper.
Spend more time outside.
Go on a vacation, take a long walk, or play outdoor games- do things that connect you to nature. If you shut yourself up in your room, negative thoughts and emotions will suffocate you. Try to spend more time outdoors- let that fresh air and beautiful landscape soothe your mind.
Read self-help books.
There are many self-help books valuable that will help you deal with this heartbreak with much poise and patience. Many writers have analyzed similar situations and devised the most effective way to deal with the pain and suffering of a breakup. Reading these books might help you move on easily.
Indulge in activities that make you feel good.
We often neglect our hobbies and passions while dealing with heartbreak. If music soothes you, listen to your favorite songs all day long. If painting calms you down, paint six pictures every day. Always keep your mind occupied with something that interests you so that your heart can heal naturally.
Seek professional help.
A bad breakup can plunge you into depression and loneliness that you cannot come out of alone. Even self-help books or emotional support from your loved ones won’t be enough. In that case, seek professional help. Go to a counselor and discuss your problems. They will help you out efficiently.
Reasons to consider therapy seriously:
- You are suffering from acute depression.
- You have trouble dealing with anxiety and disappointments.
- You don’t behave well with people around you.
- You are indulging in substance abuse that harms your body.
- You stress yourself out unnecessarily.
- You have trouble being social with your friends or other people.
- You don’t find the confidence or determination to achieve your goals in life.
- You have suffered from some form of trauma.
- You are mourning the loss of a near one.
- You have problems with sexual interaction with people around you.
Build a routine to move on.
Take some time to acknowledge your feelings and heal your heart. But don’t get stuck in this phase forever. Try to chalk out a routine that’ll help you get over this heartbreak and move on to better things in life. Remind yourself that life has provided you with endless opportunities.
Don’t bury the pain.
If you keep saying ‘I’m fine when you are clearly not, you are suppressing your feelings and showing everyone how strong you are. This serves no cause; instead, it creates an emotional burden that becomes harder for you to overcome later. So, instead of burying your pain, express it openly.
Be compassionate to yourself.
Heartbreak doesn’t mean you have to disrespect yourself. Breakups often affect our self-esteem because we start thinking we are unworthy of love. No matter how tough a phase you are in, always be compassionate towards yourself. Believe in yourself and know that all the best things are waiting for you.
Give yourself space.
You are keeping yourself occupied with plenty of things to take your mind off this breakup. But this doesn’t mean you don’t give yourself space to process your emotions. These complex feelings won’t go away suddenly, and you have to deal with them patiently. Spend some alone time every day.
Foster new rituals.
You are probably used to certain rituals and traditions because of your relationship, for example, your Christmas plans. Heartbreak makes you feel like you have lost touch with all traditions. This is when you start fostering new rituals in your life. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your loved ones.
Pen down your thoughts.
If you’re not comfortable with telling other people about your feelings while going through heartbreak, you must write down your thoughts. This is a great way to relieve yourself of unnecessary emotional burdens. Write down how you are feeling and what you want to do to overcome these negative vibes.
Get yourself a support system.
It’s always better to get over a heartbreak and move on when you have a support system. It can be your family, best friends, or support groups that will provide you with a suitable environment to cope with your feelings. You might also come across people going through similar situations.
Connect better with yourself.
Heartbreaks generally detach you from your inner self. You start questioning everything you have done, and you don’t trust your thoughts and feelings. If you want to move on, try to reconnect with yourself; understand what you want from life and how this breakup has changed your perception of love.
Don’t underestimate your experience.
Even this heartbreak is an experience, something for you to learn from. So, don’t blame the situation when you go through a tough phase, and try to look at the good things about it. Heartbreaks teach you the importance of patience and self-control and make you a more confident person.
Don’t consider it a competition.
If you think getting over this heartbreak is a competition because other people in your life are bad at dealing with such situations, you are wrong. You cannot force yourself to do/say something you don’t believe in. All you can do is let things happen at their own pace.
There is no time limit to move on.
You cannot force yourself to get over heartbreak and move on within a week. Since everyone perceives grief differently, our ways of dealing with grief and sorrow are also different. While some people can move on from difficult situations very easily, other people need a lot of time and patience.
Avoiding it just marks it worse.
If you think avoiding the fact that your heart is broken and you are feeling sore, or pain will help you overcome it, you are wrong. The best way to deal with negative feelings is to not let things get complicated, approach them head-on and not let them overpower you.
Embrace the uncertainties.
While going through this heartbreak and getting over it, you will face unexpected situations. Some days, you will feel emotionally strong enough to do everything. On other days, waves of sadness and loneliness might sweep you over. So, be prepared for good and bad situations until you achieve emotional stability.
Don’t push away happiness.
While you’re heartbroken, something can make you feel happy, even if for a while. Don’t think it’s wrong to be happy or feel joy while going through a tough phase. Embrace every bit of happiness you feel because these moments will make it easier for you to overcome your sorrow.
It’s okay to experience heartbreak.
If you have always thought of yourself as a strong person, it might be difficult to accept that something so bad, like heartbreak, could happen to you. Don’t be narcissistic; we all go through bad times, and it’s absolutely okay not to be okay. Don’t push away your negative emotions.
Our inability to overcome heartbreak comes from our lack of acceptance. We always think, ‘This should not have happened to me rather than ‘It is what it is.’ When you accept reality, it gives you a better understanding of your situation and makes it easier for you to move on.
Never blame yourself.
While going through a heartbreak, we often question our worth. We think something we did lead to this breakup, and we start baking ourselves. This is extremely harmful to your self-esteem because you never gain back confidence if you lose it once. Never stop believing in yourself, no matter what.
Cut off all contact.
If you really want to move on from this bad phase, you have to cut off all contact with the person responsible for your heartbreak. Keeping any form of contact will just make you want to go back and avoid the red flags; this just affects your mental health more.
Don’t indulge in unhealthy habits.
Our go-to coping mechanism for heartbreak is smoking, drinking, or partying hard. Go easy on these things. Don’t force yourself to drink or smoke if you don’t feel like it. There are other ways to deal with sorrow, and hurting yourself physically will be the least helpful in this process.
Be open to dating.
While you are gradually moving on, date other people, and explore your choices; otherwise, the breakup will ruin your idea of love, and you will never be able to trust anyone again. Don’t be afraid to embrace love when it comes because the right one might just be around the corner.
Don’t force a friendship with your ex.
Often, people choose to have a friendly relationship with their ex after a breakup. But don’t do it until you are completely over your heartbreak and are ready to move on with your life. If you still have feelings, this will again lead to another uncomfortable situation in the future.
If you think you need therapy to get over this heartbreak, go get it. It can be something as simple as music therapy or something very professional like talking to a relationship counselor; do what you consider best. Get back on your feet and move on as soon as possible.
If you rush into getting over heartbreak, you will never move on. Be patient, focus on self-growth, and don’t let negative feelings overpower you. If you prioritize self-care and determination, no heartbreak will be strong enough to break your confidence. Believe in yourself and know that this, too, shall pass.
Reasons why self-care is very important for your overall well-being:
- It helps you develop better self-esteem.
- You have a healthy relationship with yourself because you can recognize your true feelings more clearly.
- You learn to take care of your physical wellness.
- You learn to identify your priorities and focus on things that are truly important.
- You can say when you feel overwhelmed by someone/ something.
- You don’t stress yourself out for little matters.
- You focus on emotional wellness, therefore, believe in honesty and positivity.
- You become a better person, and this is good for your relationships.
- You reflect on your problems without blaming the situation and find an effective solution more easily.
- It boosts your productivity and determination.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships