Disagreements are a part of every relationship. But if you are having trouble dealing with arguments in your relationship, you and your partner need to step back and go through your approach and decisions once again. We are discussing some of the serious reasons for arguments between couples.
You fight because you are too proud to accept your mistake.
It is a huge problem if you are not humble enough to accept that we all make mistakes, and you might have been wrong. To protect your ego, you indulge in ugly fights with your partner, playing unnecessary blame games and bad-mouthing, which eventually gives your relationship an ugly turn.
You argue about your preferences for having kids.
Another common argument between partners is when one wants to have kids, and the other doesn’t. Having a child is a huge responsibility, and you should not move forward if you are both not ready for it. You should always discuss these sensitive issues before getting into a serious relationship.
Your arguments don’t have any results.
You or your partner is reluctant to accept their mistake and work on improving themselves to become a better partner. Therefore, you end up having arguments about the same matter again and again. This just grows the negative energy in your relationship, and consequently, you fall apart from each other.
You argue about your sex life.
If you or your partner is dissatisfied with your sex life, it can be an important reason for your arguments. Sex is definitely an important part of a relationship, especially if you’re married. Therefore, you have to discuss your sexual preferences without unnecessary arguments, which may eventually ruin your understanding.
You argue over household responsibilities.
This is one of the most common reasons for arguments between couples. If one partner is left with the burden of all household responsibilities and the other one is being selfish and irresponsible, this imbalance causes problems in your relationship. You cannot dump all important chores on your partner alone.
You argue about family problems.
Adjusting to each other’s families and accepting your loved ones the way they are is difficult for some couples. Therefore, if you include your family in your personal life and don’t know how to balance that well, family issues can also give rise to arguments between you and your partner.
You argue over lifestyle choices.
If you and your partner are of opposite nature, it can be a reason for arguments in your relationship. If you are an extrovert, who likes to go out, party, and mingle and your partner is an introvert, this can lead to differences and, consequently, arguments from time to time.
You have arguments over financial issues.
Handling your finances as a couple is not very easy. Often, financial responsibilities can also be a major reason for arguments between couples. If your partner has been irresponsible with their savings and is spending more than they should, you will end up arguing over your approach to your finances.
Ways to handle your finances better:
- Fux your daily budget and try to stick to it except for emergency situations.
- Don’t break your routine of following a fixed budget.
- Have limits for your luxury expenses.
- Keep a record of how much you are spending.
- Don’t commit to bills or expenses you cannot handle.
- Do proper research before paying so that you are sure that you get the best value.
- If you have a big purchase ahead, start saving up early.
- Keep track of your credit card expenses.
- Fill up your savings regularly.
- Don’t give up; practice determination and consistency.
You argue about losing love and validation in your relationship.
If you have recently been feeling that your relationship lacks the love and care you had for each other in the initial days, that can be a reason for your arguments. If your partner is being stubborn about fixing your issues, this can lead to further problems in your relationship.
Your arguments are more like criticism.
The key to having a healthy relationship is to never be judgemental of your partner, even when you don’t agree with each other. So, if while arguing, your partners, comments, and statements, begin to sound critical of your thoughts and actions, your arguments are about to take an ugly turn.
You argue about your reason for falling in love.
Often, arguments stem from a sense of regret and disappointment. You start thinking that you could’ve been in a better relationship than these. When you start questioning why you fall in love with your partner in the first place, you are disrespecting them, and they will eventually reciprocate your behavior.
You argue over a lack of proper communication.
Arguments about a lack of proper communication with your partner can become very ugly. You think that although you talk every day, the personal touch is missing. You don’t feel any warmth or compassion in your partner’s interactions with you, and therefore, you argue with them to clarify your point.
You argue over your partner’s approach to disagreements.
While you try to find a solution to your differences, your partner is indifferent and selfish because they don’t even consider that something’s wrong. So, you end up having an argument about the way they deal with an argument. Remember that being stubborn or selfish will not help your relationship.
You argue about trust issues.
Lately, you cannot trust your partner even if you want to. They are acting weird, and something is suspicious. If you cannot have an open conversation, this will become an argument. If you constantly doubt your commitment to each other and this relationship, even your arguments will be fruitless.
Your arguments stem from other issues in your life.
You are upset with something at work or with a friend. You dump that anger and irritation by having an unnecessary argument with your partner. What you don’t realize is that you are unknowingly hurting your partner. So, you must control your emotions before acting foolishly and having unnecessary disputes.
What is the solution to a heated argument between partners?
Instead of letting your flights become ugly, you can take measures to ensure that you don’t argue with your partner in the first place. Controlling your emotions is very tough, especially in tough situations. Here are some things you can do to stop arguing with your partner and think wisely.
Don’t base your arguments on assumptions.
No matter how close you are to your partner, there will always be things you don’t know about them. So, stop assuming things with your perception and ask questions instead. Before you start an argument, consider your partner’s opinions and feelings equally important as yours and then make a decision.
Communication is the key.
Effective communication can solve very complicated situations. So, before you get into a heated argument with your partner and start playing blame games, communicate with them openly. Let them know how you feel without accusing them or being critical. This way, you will definitely find a solution to your problems.
Don’t act on your emotions.
When we are upset or angry about something, we are emotionally vulnerable. You don’t think while arguing with your partner because negative emotions have overpowered you, and this escalates the situation further. So, next time you have an argument, try to control your emotions and approach the problem logically instead.
Reasons to talk about your emotions:
- Feelings will not suddenly disappear if you keep hiding them.
- Someone will validate your emotion and make you feel better.
- It relieves you of an emotional burden that is hard to deal with later.
- Your loved ones will understand and support you thoroughly.
- It will help you understand your present situation better.
- When you express yourself clearly, you have a better perspective.
- It helps you avoid unnecessary intensity
- It benefits your mental health.
- Sharing with someone you love lets them know they are important to you.
Don’t hold on to your grudges.
Don’t argue but also, don’t create an emotional burden of your grudges and disappointments in your heart. Talk to your partner about the problem and try to approach the situation peacefully. This way, you don’t grow any untold, unhealthy resentment and anger inside you that may affect your relationship later.
Don’t be defensive towards your partner.
You will have arguments in a relationship. But the problem begins when you start acting defensively to justify your point. Being defensive often stems from negative emotions, whereas what you need to solve the situation is rational thinking. If you want to solve your dispute, you have to stay calm.
Think about the reasons for your arguments.
Go through the reason why you started arguing with your partner and rethink if it’s justified or not. If it is something very trivial as doing the dishes or laundry, convince yourself that they are not strong enough to have a big argument that may lead to a bad relationship.
Don’t let the past affect your present relationship.
If you stay stuck on what your partner did months ago, you are bringing up old issues to have an argument. Reliving old mistakes in your arguments will just worsen the situation and fuel the fire of negativity and misunderstanding in your relationship. Learn to let go and move on.
Avoid ‘you’; use ‘I.’
If you want to diffuse an argument with your partner, stop using statements like “How could you do this?” or ‘You are so wrong.” Instead, say things like ‘I am hurt by what you said or ‘I never expected this from you.’ This expresses your reluctance to play blame games.
Be an active listener.
A simple argument can turn into an ugly fight easily when you don’t listen to each other. Instead of reacting to your partner, try making an active conversation. Respond with logic, not emotion. When you listen intently, you understand if they are trying to convey something meaningful and end this fight.
Be mindful of your tone.
Remember that how you say things matters more than what you are saying. So, even while you are having an argument in your relationship, be mindful of the tone in which you speak. No matter how heated an argument is, you can never be disrespectful or offensive toward your partner.
Don’t hesitate to apologize.
If you know deep within that you’ve hurt your partner or this argument stems from your mistake, don’t hold onto your ego. Apologize wholeheartedly and try to have a heartfelt conversation. A selfish ego shouldn’t come in the way of your relationship, especially when you know an apology is a solution.
Compromise if you can.
You have to make adjustments in a relationship because everything will not always happen according to your will. So, if you think a little compromise without hurting your self-esteem can benefit your relationship, don’t hold onto your ego. A little compromise helps you build trust and understanding in your relationship.
Agree to disagree.
Often, arguments get so heated that no matter how hard you try, you never reach a consensus. In that case, to not let the argument escalate, you can follow the ‘agree to disagree method. When you learn to do so, you will be able to solve your disagreements more peacefully.
Look at things from a different perspective.
Often, the root cause of a heated argument is that you are too stubborn to see things from your partner’s perspective. This lack of understanding affects the harmony in your relationship. Before you turn your argument into a big one, try to analyze things from your partner’s point of view.
Seek professional help.
If you think your arguments have reached a stage where none of these tactics will work, seek professional help. A relationship counselor can help you understand the dynamics of your relationship. Therapists will help you identify the root cause of your arguments and, consequently, give you a more effective solution.
Every time you find yourself in an argument with your partner, remember that this will never lead to anything good. Instead of hurting each other or misbehaving unnecessarily, use the tips discussed above. They will help you find a solution together, thereby improving your conflict resolution skills in a relationship.
Reasons why arguing is sometimes helpful in a relationship:
- It makes your connection stronger.
- It helps you build mutual trust and understanding.
- It helps you relieve your inner stress and anxiety.
- It helps you know each other as a person better.
- It will help you love each other more.
- Fighting lets you express your true emotions to your partner.
- You realize that every person has their own personality and opinions.
- It helps you become a better person and a more understanding partner in this relationship.
- You create memories that help you later.
- You learn to care for each other.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships