Having control of everything in your hands can make you feel very great and powerful, but it’s impossible.
It is a feeling that arises in everyone and makes them try to take chances, resulting in the loss of their loved ones and many more.
In relationships, the power control should not be there, but if it is there then it should be well-distributed to keep your relationship healthy, and if it gets excess then given below are a few tips to stop it.
Tips on How to Stop Being Controlling in A Relationship
Do not advise unless asked for it. Often people try to be the ones who know everything and like to give advice even if they are not asked for it. You should understand that people have different problems and if your partner needs advice, they’ll ask for it.
Control your language. While having a conversation with your partner, you should not use words that are bossy and do not try to get things done by giving them orders.
Learn to value instead of control. If you always have the intention to control everyone, then you will do it with your partner too. So, try to shift your intentions from controlling to giving value, which will help you find the real you and give love to your partner.
Work on your confidence. When people feel bad about themselves, they try to show those emotions to their partners. To avoid these actions, you should work on your confidence.
Take the help of therapies. Taking the help of different therapies will help you to find out the source of your controlling behavior. It often comes from past incidents.
Accept your controlling behaviors. If your partner tells you that you have a controlling habit, then instead of arguing, try to accept it and ask for help from them to help you change.
Be self-reliant. You should not ask your partner for everything that you need; instead, do it by yourself with all that you have.
Build boundaries. You should make a plan to set boundaries on the manner of communication with your partner. These boundaries that you set will show your partner that you give respect to their needs also.
Discuss your expectations with your partner. You should discuss your expectations with your partner and keep them clear. This will help them to understand better and will help to meet them.
Find the reason for your controlling behavior. To change your intentions of controlling your partner you should first find out the cause or the reason for this particular behavior.
Do not try to hold on to everything. You should try to learn from your past incidents but do let yourself to live in them. Learn from it and let it go.
Communicate passionately. Telling your partner something directly will not be good instead be a little bit indirect and show compassion while telling it. It will make them feel good and will not hurt their prestige.
Do not be afraid of unfulfilled needs. Do not force your partner to do things in your way in the fear that your needs will remain unfulfilled or unsatisfied.
Look after your psychological health. Your controlling behavior can come from your emotional issues or it can be anxiety, depression, work stress, and low self-confidence.
Do not take the help of manipulation. Manipulation comes after controlling and it is not healthy for you and your partner. Manipulation will help you to get everything you want but will hurt your closed one.
Learn to fight with your insecurities. If you have a habit of controlling your partner, then it shows that you have some insecurities. You will try to dominate your partner to hide your weaknesses.
Try to compromise sometimes. Sometimes try to compromise in your relationship for your partner’s happiness and to maintain the healthy relationship that you have.
Do force your partner to be perfect. No one can be perfect so as is your partner, you should not pressurize or force them to be perfect. Do not believe that your partner will never make you upset.
Stop being paranoid. You should not get too possessive if everything is not under your control. Try to loosen up things and do make yourself responsible for everything.
Remember that it can make your partner rebellious. You trying to take control over your partner will build a negative attitude in them for you and they might start to do things that you do not like.
Your partner is not your slave. If your partner is not willing to do something you should force them to do it. Let them do the things that they are interested in.
Trust your partner’s abilities. The intention to control your partner comes when you do not have trust in your partner’s decisions. Try to support them and help them when they need you.
Place yourself in their shoes. You should place yourself in your partner’s shoes and find out how they feel when you try to control them.
Everything cannot be in the way you want. You should accept the fact that everything cannot go or move in the way you want no matter how much you try to control.
Differences should be respected. Your partner is different from you and their methods of doing things too. Respect the differences to maintain a peaceful relationship.
Do not threaten your partner. if you threaten your partner to get things done by them unwillingly then it might make your relationship unhealthy.
Some space and privacy are needed by everyone. In a relationship being transparent with your partner is important but asking them for reports of whatever they do is a different thing.
Patience. If you are good at something that does not mean that your partner is too. Be patient and help them to complete the task.
Be more understanding. It will not affect your partner if the world does not understand them because they know that you will always understand them and be on their side.
Communicate with your partner about the problem. If there is something that is making you want to control your partner, then you should discuss the problem with your partner and seek help.
Try to give. Do not always focus on what you are getting from your partner instead trying to give something to them will make them love you more.
Your demands should be turned into questions. If you demand your partner to do something directly, they will not do it but if you turn them into questions then they will try their best to meet them.
Encourage your partner. You should teach and encourage your partner to do things on their own or without you, it will reduce the gap between you and your partner.
Allow yourself to experience changes. The gift that you can give to your relationship is that you allow yourself to accept the changes and the new things that come into your relationship.
Do not believe that you are always right. People who try to control have a belief that the ideas they have, or share are right and best. This attitude will not be good for your relationship.
Try to give up control. Sometimes giving up control and taking help from your partner will make you feel very rewarding and achieve the goal together.
Delegate your tasks. Instead of trying to do all the things by yourself and having control over it, delegate some of your tasks to your partner, and make yourself feel light.
Learn from your partner. Try to know how your partner fights their intentions to take over the control and use them when your turn comes.
Do not change your partner. Let your partner improve in their way and the things, they are good at instead of trying to change them according to your needs.
Stop getting jealous. Trying to control may have something to do when you get jealous. You might not help your partner if you are jealous of them instead of doing that work on your issues.
Do not try to control every situation. It can be the right option to control in some situations if your partner is not doing it correctly but do not always do this always.
Share it with your friend. Talking about your struggle with your friend will help you to look at it from a different perspective and to improve your behavior.
Do not plan everything. If you plan everything that is to be done in your relationship, then it shows that you love to control. Being organized and doing things that feel right to both of you is more important.
Be flexible. To work out your behavior to control your partner, then you should try to be more flexible in your relationship and do things that your partner decides for you sometimes.
Leave if there’s no difference. If you are controlling then see if you can bring some positive difference, if not then leave it to your partner.
Let them hang out with their friends. Do not try to control your partner by not letting them spend time with their friends, instead allow them and relax.
Encourage your partner to take some time off. Your partner needs some alone time and deserves to live a life outside the relationship, allow your partner to do that.
Do not allow the past to affect the present. If you have got hurt in your past, then the intention to take control over your partner will automatically arise so that you won’t get hurt again and this can affect your current relationship.
Do not sneak into your partner’s mobile device. If your partner stays too active on social media and if you try to sneak in their mobile device, then it will prove that you think you are losing control over them.
Be proud of your partner. when your focus deviates from the positive aspects of your partner then the need to control will arise in you, so remember that you love them and look for positive qualities.
Communication is the key. The key to solving all the problems in a relationship is communication, whenever you feel the need to control talk to your partner.
Do not get impulsive. if your partner is not working the way you want them then do not get impulsive and do something out of control.
Do not criticize your partner without any reason. Criticizing your partner without any reason will help you to take control of your partner easily. Do not do that.
Believe in your partner. if you believe in your partner and the love that you share then the need to control your partner will not arise.
Stop blackmailing. If you are blackmailing your partner for their mistake to take control over them then stop it. Your relationship will get bitter and unable to fix it.
Stop being physical. If you are being physically or have been even once to take control of your partner, then it would be the worst step that you have taken.
Specify the things that bother you. If there is anything that is bothering you about your partner then tell them about it but do not try to control them.
Trying to control should be your last option. If there are problems in your relationship and you are thinking of taking any action, then the option to take control over your partner should be the last one.
Take a break. If a gap is being created between you and your partner, then take a break and spend some time with them. Using the method of control will not be right.
Spend some time with your partner’s friends. Going out with your partner’s friends and knowing them will help you to be assured that your partner will not cheat on you.
Meditate daily. You should meditate every morning. It will help you to have control over your feelings and emotions, not over your partner.
Let your partner be in the spotlight. You are great and so is your partner. Sometimes you should let your partner be in the spotlight and show their abilities.
Don’t obstruct the flow. Giving yourself a break sometimes and not breaking the flow will be a good idea. You will see that everything is working out fine without your interference.
Work on your thinking pattern. if the need to control arises more often in your mind then you should try to work or change your thinking pattern.
Do not try to take a big step. Instead of taking a big step in one attempt, you should try to take small steps every day that will be more effective.
Take a rest. When you love to control you always try to squeeze every productive thing that you can, leaving you exhausted. Taking rest will help to release stress and the need to control everything.
Always know the consequences. Trying to control your relationship will bring many consequences along with them. So, it’s better not to do that.
Let them go on solo trips. You can arrange a solo trip for your partner, it will help them to get relaxed and freshen up their mind. A great idea for your partner.
Spend time with your partner’s family. To keep the relationship healthy with your partner you can spend some time with your partner’s family and siblings.
Spend time with your family. A good family environment will help you to get over any emotional breakdown. Take your time off and spend a weekend with your family.
Encourage them to cry with your partner. Often your partner will hide their feelings from you to show that they are strong. Try to break that exterior wall and make them comfortable so that they can cry it over.
Share your account passwords with them. If you share your passwords with your partner, then it will automatically increase their trust in you.
Open a joint account. Opening a joint bank account and saving money together is a very good way to maintain a healthy relationship. It will also stop the need to control each other.
Remind them of their happy time. If you see that your partner is trying to take control, then you should make them feel relaxed and increase the love by reminding them of the happy moments.
Remind them of the things that brought you together. Discussing the things that brought you and your partner together will help them to love you even more.
Be responsible. If you are responsible enough for your relationship, then there will be no need to control.
Be loyal. if you and your partner are loyal to each other in your relationship then the want to control will never arise.
Spend time with children. you can try to spend time with children because it can bring a smile to anyone’s face. It will help lighten the mood.
Hug your partner every time you meet them. A hug to your partner at the time of meeting or taking off will bring the warmth of your love.
Be truthful. If there is truth in your relationship and if you are truthful to each other then controlling will never be your option.
Do not read too much about dominance. Reading articles or books about dominance or watching movies of the category will give a spark to your need to control and will make you try it on your partner.
Do not correct your partner constantly. During a conversation, if you are constantly correcting your partner then that means you are trying to control them emotionally.
Stop blaming your partner. People who try to control their partner always blame their partner for their actions and doings even if they are not at fault.
Do not get greedy. If you come to know that what you can do if you can control the relationship then your want for control will increase but if you can overcome that nothing is good like it.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships