Jealousy and insecurity can ruin a relationship more easily than anything else. They stem from a lack of understanding between partners. These are some important signs of jealousy in a relationship. If you can relate to any of these, it’s time to step back and try to improve your approach.
You are stalking your partner.
It’s okay to check on your partner now and then. But if you have a habit of stalking them and finding out where they are or with whom, this is a sign of jealousy. You don’t want them to spend time with other people, and so you start acting over-possessive.
You are always inquisitive.
You have to know everything about your partner. You get upset when they don’t share even the minutest details of their life with you. You always worry that they are hiding something from you, and you overthink everything they do or say. This lack of trust can be very harmful.
You are asking your partner for passwords.
This is probably the most irritating violation of one’s privacy, but you are ready to stoop so low because you have to constantly stay updated about your partner’s whereabouts. They have to share their social media account passwords, even if they don’t want to. This will eventually make them exhausted.
Ways to protect your online identity:
- Use very strong passwords; don’t go for basic information.
- Always check for encryption before making an online financial transaction.
- Install security suites to protect your online data.
- Turn on blacklisting while using the browser.
- Look out for phishing scams.
- Get your private data protection.
- Use a strong password for your wireless router.
- Avoid putting up personal information online as much as possible.
- Enable cookies only when needed.
- Be careful with credit or debit card information.
You are sometimes overly affectionate.
To deal with the jealousy building inside you, you start getting over-protective and caring towards your partner. You constantly validate them so that they don’t think of leaving you. You think this is okay, but your behavior just seems weird to them. Don’t do something that makes them feel claustrophobic.
You are constantly texting your partner.
Even when they are at work or with their friends, you have to stay in touch with them. You get upset when they don’t reply to your texts, and you start thinking that they are reluctant to communicate with you. You can never disrespect someone’s private space out of jealousy.
You exude jealousy through your words and actions.
If not handled well, all your words and actions will express your jealousy. Your communication, body language, and approach to issues make it clear that you have a problem with your partner. Things get uncomfortable when every time you talk to your partner, you let them know something is wrong.
You try to make them feel jealous.
If your partner has ever talked openly with your friends, you try to get back at them by flirting with their friends. You show them that you don’t care, but deep within, you want them to be bothered by your insecurity. Playing unnecessary mind games will not solve your situation.
You express uncontrollable anger.
If you can’t express your jealousy openly, it turns into rage and irritation. Even the trivial thing your partner says sets you off, and you are angry at them. So, next time, before you start misbehaving with your partner, see if it stems from growing jealousy in your heart.
You are jealous even if they mention someone else.
An alarming sign of jealousy is when you cannot even bear to think of your partner being related to someone else, even if it’s a casual or professional friendship. Every time they mention someone, you get jealous and start acting weirdly. You have to work on your perception of relationships.
You are constantly seeking attention.
Possessiveness is important in a relationship, but it’s a problem when you cross a line. You cannot always fixate on your partner when they are at work or with other people. So, if you are clarifying that they must only be with you, you are trying to own an individual.
You always avoid conversations about their exes.
You don’t even let your partner mention their ex-lovers because the thought of them having been in a relationship with someone other than you instantly makes you uncomfortable. So, if they ever come across their ex or speak of them, it makes them upset, and they react to it negatively.
Ways to forget your ex and move on:
- Take some time to heal from the effect of your breakup.
- Stop stalking them to stay up-to-date with their life.
- Don’t waste time reliving memories that hurt you.
- Force yourself to see and accept reality.
- Gain experience from what happened and always remember it.
- Don’t make excuses to contact them or run into them on purpose.
- Don’t be emotionally harsh with yourself.
- Don’t try to be friends with them if you can’t control your feelings.
- Know your ability and purpose in life.
- Always be optimistic about what awaits you.
You make decisions on their behalf.
You try to get involved in every aspect of your life. You are constantly trying to establish the fact that you are an inseparable part of their life, and therefore, nothing happens without you. This just expresses your controlling nature and can make your partner uncomfortable discussing things with you.
You don’t let your partner explore new things.
Suppose your partner wants to check out a new restaurant with a friend from work. You don’t let them do so because of your jealousy. Consequently, you are restricting them from exploring new things. If you are constantly trying to sabotage your partner’s individuality, it is unhealthy for your relationship.
You are turning into a control freak.
You cannot dictate to your partner what to do and who to meet. If you are constantly exhibiting controlling behavior towards your partner in this relationship, it is probably stemming from your inner jealousy. Your partner will soon get exhausted dealing with your insecurity and want to end this relationship.
You don’t understand the concept of personal space.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can barge on your partner whenever you want. No matter how close you are, you should always respect their private space and not cross your boundaries. If your jealousy is making you go through their phones and stuff, you need to fix yourself.
You always try to tag along.
You forget that your partner has other aspects in their life than you. Resulting of your insecurities, you try to accompany them everywhere they go so that you can keep an eye on their activities. This is not a way to show your concern; you are just snooping around unnecessarily.
You are happy when someone ditches your partner.
Since you don’t want them to interact with anyone else, you are happy when someone cancels plans or hurts them. It feeds your ego, and you know that after being ditched or ill-treated, they will come to you for comfort and assurance. This may seem normal, but it is very unhealthy.
You can’t bear to see someone else complimenting your partner.
When you are jealous and insecure, you start overthinking. So, even if someone is giving your partner a genuine, heartfelt compliment, you make a different meaning out of it and start treating them badly. Instead of feeling proud to have someone so perfect, you start acting weird out of jealousy.
You are envious of every other person in your partner’s life.
You hate your partner’s boss, best friend, or colleagues. Your jealousy makes you look enviously at everyone in their life because you always think something is going on in their mind and they are trying to lure your partner. This negativity affects your understanding of your partner and builds mistrust.
You want your partner to think less of other people.
You always point out bad qualities in your partner’s best friend or any acquaintance. Even when they haven’t done anything, or you barely know them, you ask your partner to stay away from them. This weird habit of demeaning people in their life for no reason clearly expresses your jealousy.
It’s all in the eyes.
You have obviously heard the phrase ‘the eyes never lie.’ Even when you are outside with your other friends, you keep an eye on your partner. They cannot interact freely with anyone because your eyes keep following them. Your eyes clearly express your jealousy, even if you don’t admit it.
You always pout to show you are jealous.
Suppose your partner tells you that they have to attend a late-night party at a friend’s house. Although you let them go, your pouting face says that you are thinking otherwise. Your partner can tell from your sulking that you are not okay with them being friendly with other people.
You never say something is wrong.
You know deep inside that your jealousy is unjustified; this is why you cannot tell your partner clearly about the problem you are having. Even if they ask, your answer is always ‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.’ This unexpressed jealousy and discontentment create an emotional burden that further affects your relationship.
You ask your partner’s friend about their whereabouts.
If you cannot reach your partner via phone or text when they are out, you don’t hesitate to contact their friends and ask about their whereabouts. You do this because your jealousy makes you restless if you cannot stay constantly updated about where they are or who they are with.
You are always testing their love.
Jealousy can make you do stupid things. To make your partner understand that you are jealous and want their attention and love, you start avoiding them as a test of their love to see if they are aware of your feelings. If you think deeply, these are just stupid ideas.
You use tracking apps without them knowing.
This violation of privacy is just unacceptable, and if you are doing this, you need to stop right away. Just because you are jealous and insecure, you cannot track your partner’s phone to know where they are or what they are doing. It’s worse if they don’t know about it.
You isolate them for no reason.
You try to isolate your partner from their loved ones. This is a way to make it clear that nobody can love them as much as you do. This act of jealousy should never be encouraged because our romantic relationships are not the only thing in our lives that matters.
You involve their friends and families in your mind games.
Your jealousy and insecurity reach a level where you keep asking your friends and family about how they feel for you or if they are cheating on you. Since you don’t have the courage to ask them directly, you start playing these mind games that eventually ruin your relationship further.
You start acting like their bodyguard.
When you are out together, you seem more of a bodyguard than a partner. You are always keeping an eye on them, restricting them from being friendly with other people. This can be very unhealthy for your relationship because your partner will soon start feeling suffocated by your controlling attitude.
You are constantly seeking attention in public.
Suppose you are at a party with your friends. If your partner has been talking to another friend for a long time and hasn’t interacted with you, your insecurities start acting up. You try to seek their attention and let them know that you are feeling bad about their attitude.
These acts of jealousy are unacceptable, mostly because they are stupid. Instead of nurturing unhealthy insecurities within your heart, it’s better to talk openly with your partner and tell them how you are feeling. If they understand enough, they will consider your feelings, and you will find a solution.
Ways to stop being an over-possessive partner:
- Don’t make a big deal about your partner’s past life and relationships.
- Spend time with yourself and get to know your partner.
- Don’t dump your stress and insecurities on your partner and this relationship.
- Don’t feed your jealousy.
- Learn to be calm when something is stressing you out.
- Be friends with their family and friends.
- Before reacting, find the root cause of your insecurity.
- Don’t try to tell your partner what to say or do.
- Trust your partner and have faith in your connection.
- Don’t get paranoid about little things.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships