Living Together Before Marriage: 30+ Pros And Cons

Many people of the younger generation now prefer to be in live-in relationships before getting married. A live-in relationship has its own advantages and disadvantages, and you must know everything well before going for it.

In this article, we discuss some important pros and cons for you to consider.

Pros Of Living Together Before Marriage

You get to judge your compatibility with your partner.

Before you get married to someone, a live-in relationship allows you to understand how compatible you are with them. This is not as serious as marriage, so you have the option to bail out if things don’t work out well. You will have enough information to make an informed decision.

It is financially more suitable.

Handling finances is easier in live-in relationships. You have the income of two people, thus allowing you to save more or be more careful about your expenses. Also, you get to support each other in times of need. Your partner might also help you become more responsible with your money.

You can share your responsibilities.

Live-in relationships prepare you for marriage. You understand what it is to share your life with another person and learn how to share responsibilities with them. It also helps you overcome the stress and exhaustion of having to do everything by yourself and, therefore, you learn to adjust more easily.

Your respect and fondness towards each other will grow.

Living with your partner will help you understand them better. You will get to see them for who they are, someone you can be comfortable with, someone with whom you can dance in pajamas. With growing respect and adoration, it becomes easier to see a happy future with your partner.

You have the freedom to walk out if needed.

Even if your relationship doesn’t work out, you will have the freedom to break up without the legal hassles faced by a married couple. This is mostly why teenagers nowadays choose live-in relationships over marriages. You have a kind of independence that you’ll never get once you are legally married.

You have a deeper emotional bond.

Seeing each other twice a week and living together under one roof are completely different things. To successfully execute the second one, you must have a deeper emotional connection. So, if you want a more meaningful relationship with a definite future, living together before marriage might be a good idea.

Being physically intimate is easier.

Living together before marriage might make it easier to shed your inhibitions and be physically comfortable with each other. It’s not about the sex; intimacy in all forms must be incorporated into your relationship. Since marriage is a very serious equation, just living together for some time might be helpful.

You get to know each other’s expectations and habits.

Living together will help you understand your partner’s likes and dislikes much better. You will understand what they expect from this relationship and from you as a partner. So, it makes it easier to understand if your partner is equally committed to this relationship and sees a future with you.

Building trust and comfort is much easier.

Most people have failed marriages due to a lack of mutual trust and understanding. So, if you can start out early and live together for a while before getting married, it might be easier for you to build a strong foundation of trust in your relationship and ensure efficient understanding.

You don’t have the burden of commitment.

Suppose you are at the peak of your career. Getting married might mess things up. On the other hand, being in a live-in relationship means you keep things simple and don’t go through the burden of commitment if you don’t want to. You can equally support and love your partner.

You understand how comfortable you are with household affairs.

Dealing with household matters or growing a daily is a huge responsibility that everybody can’t handle. So, living with your partner before marriage will help you understand how good you are as a couple when it comes to chores like cooking, grocery shopping, or cleaning. This is also very important.

You may not include your family if you don’t want to.

Marriage isn’t just a union between two people, and it also includes their family and loved ones. So, if you are not ready to deal with that pressure, living with your partner before marriage might be a good idea. Your families will get involved only as much as you want to.

Handling the breakup is easier.

Dealing with separation after marriage can be very stressful and affect your mental peace. The good thing about living together is that even if things don’t work out, you don’t feel the blow of the breakup very intensely. Marriage binds you in every way possible, and therefore, divorce is hard.

You can take things slow.

As soon as people get married, society and family pressure them to sacrifice their jobs, have kids, or only fulfill their household responsibilities. But none of these standards are applicable to you if you are living together before marriage. Therefore, things happen at the pace you want them to happen.

You don’t have to deal with societal pressure.

The best thing about live-in relationships is that you have no societal pressure to deal with. You can enjoy yourselves without following any restrictions applicable to people who are dating or legal systems for married couples. So, if you want flexibility in your relationships, a live-in one is the best.

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Ways to deal with social pressure:

  • When you say no, let them know that you mean it.
  • Back up your negative statements with a positive one.
  • Don’t mind repeating your perspective until they get you.
  • Avoid places where you might face such pressure.
  • Don’t get stressed even when they are trying to make you feel so.
  • Share your feelings with a best friend.
  • Always think of what would happen if you gave in.
  • Look up to optimistic people for guidance and strength.
  • Don’t do something because everyone is doing it.
  • Don’t be afraid to seek help from someone.

Cons of living together before marriage

You don’t need to have a permanent relationship.

While this flexibility appeals to the younger generation, it also leads you to approach this relationship with a lack of commitment, and consequently, the chances of breakups are more. You know that you can walk out whenever you want, and therefore, you will be reluctant to work on relationship issues. 

You will never have any certainty.

Marriage binds you legally to your partner. So, you have a strong commitment to each other. Living together before marriage, on the other hand, is uncertain because you don’t know when you might fall apart. So, if you see a future with your partner, this uncertainty might lead to insecurities.

Most live-in partners have dissatisfactory sex lives.

Living together before marriage will never give you the strong foundation of loyalty and trust that marriage does. So, the chances of you or your partner cheating on one another are quite high. This will lead to quarrels and disagreements, and consequently, you will never have a good sex life.

Living together might not prepare you for marriage.

Research suggests that although most people chose to stay in live-in relationships and eventually got married but still found it difficult to handle marriage. This is because there are some basic differences between living together as a married and unmarried couple. So, you might not be prepared for what’s ahead.

You don’t get to enjoy marital and financial benefits.

As we know, married couples have plenty of financial benefits to utilize. So, while living together before marriage saves you from the hassle of legal contracts and other related stuff, it also deprives you of financial benefits like not having to pay estate tax or filing jointly to save money.

Breaking up is legally easy, not emotionally.

You have the freedom to walk out whenever you want without any legal hassle. But, it doesn’t make it emotionally easy for you to deal with being separated from someone you loved and valued so much in your life. You will go through the same phases as a married couple.

Living together will affect your perception of marriage.

The flexibility of a live-in relationship makes you less interested in getting married. Your easy way out of this relationship will make you never want to get married, probably ever. So, you stop believing in an institution based on trust and commitment, depriving yourself of the joy of being married.

It might negatively affect your understanding.

If not handled well, even living together can create problems between you and your partner. You might not agree on all matters, and if you don’t solve the situation with peace and understanding, you might eventually split up. So, the chances of ugly fights are no less in live-in relationships.

Your families might not agree to this arrangement.

This is a very common problem for teenagers who want to live together before marriage. Most families and parents are not comfortable with the idea of two people lying together without any legal bonding. So, convincing your family to let you be in a live-in relationship can be very difficult.

There’s a chance that you’ll get bored.

Yes, it might sound funny, but many couples who live together before marriage eventually get bored of each other and go on different paths. An unconscious lack of commitment because you know you can move out whenever you want creates this boredom because we are constantly trying to experiment with everything.

You might not be ready to move elsewhere yet.

Living together with your partner before marriage is generally an impulsive decision, but you have to be practical about it. If you aren’t ready to change houses yet, you should think about your decision calmly and discuss it with your partner. Many people find it difficult to cope with later.

You will probably fight more frequently.

Although it depends on your understanding of your partner and differs in various relationships, the chances of fighting with your partner are more common when you are living together and are not yet married. The legal bond of marriage somewhat makes it easier to deal with a lot of problems.

You will lose interest in each other.

Living together before marriage can make things casual between you, and you might take each other for granted. The excitement of getting to know someone and meeting them after a while when you are just dating is one of those perks you don’t get to enjoy in a live-in relationship.

The chances of you judging and criticizing each other are higher.

Since you are not legally bonded to each other, you don’t need to please your partner or do something to hide their shortcomings. So, you will probably be more judgemental or critical. You know they can’t misbehave with you, and so you might act without any consideration for their feelings.

You might not be able to cope with such a drastic change in your life.

Being single and being married are different things. But living together is halfway between these two. So, some people might find it difficult to cope with such complicated relationship dynamics of not being in a legal relationship. This is very probable, especially if you lack proper understanding with your partner.

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Ways to deal with major changes:

  • Acknowledge that something has changed, even though you didn’t expect it.
  • Know that a positive change can also stress you out.
  • Don’t give up your regular life schedule.
  • Try to be physically as healthy as possible.
  • Exercise and do yoga to calm yourself down.
  • Seek emotional support from your loved ones who understand you.
  • Think about the good things that happened due to this change.
  • Take charge of your life, and don’t encourage laziness.
  • You are allowed to vent, but not endlessly.
  • Allow yourself a break, don’t overthink stuff.

CONCLUSION

You have a list of the major pros and cons of living together before marriage. Whatever you do, it has to be a well-informed decision. Think calmly, and don’t rush into anything. Always discuss everything with your partner and be honest about your feelings. Do what’s best for your relationship.

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Reasons to get married to the love of your life:

  • The easiest one- you love each other.
  • Marriage will make you a more responsible person.
  • You get to share the good and bad times of your life with someone.
  • You can start a family with your spouse.
  • You have a great support system forever.
  • You get to grow old with someone you adore.
  • You save a lot more money than when you are single.
  • You get to enjoy being physically intimate with someone.
  • It gives you emotional stability in life.
  • You have a constant companion, no matter what.

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