Love Languages In Relationships: How To Use Them

To ensure effective communication and understanding in your relationship, you have to understand your partner’s love language and let them know yours.

This article discusses some of the basic love languages that all couples must know. Without mutual validation and appreciation, you can never have a healthy relationship.

Five love languages are commonly found in all relationships that lay the strong foundation of love.

They will help you express your adoration and gratitude to your partner and let them know how much you appreciate their presence in your life. Now, we discuss these love languages in detail.

Words of affirmation

The verbal and written expression of your love and commitment to this relationship is very important and can only be achieved through words of affirmation. You must let your partner know that you are proud of this relationship and willing to express your love and gratitude towards them openly.

  • Communicate more frequently.

Rather than waiting for a special occasion to tell your partner how much you love and adore them, do so frequently. Effective and constant communication helps you achieve the emotional intimacy important in a relationship. Therefore, communicating openly to affirm your partner is a very important love language to adopt.

  • Compliment your partner.

Complement each other. Even for the most trivial thing. Knowing that your partner appreciates and validates you in a relationship always works magically to improve understanding and bring you closer. Therefore, never miss an opportunity to tell your partner how great they are or how they make your life better.

  • Write thank you notes.

Since the modern technological world deprives us of the joy of receiving letters from our loved ones, try to make a difference. Write little thank you notes and put them in unexpected places. Wait to see that broad smile on your partner’s face when they find and read your note.

  • Say heartfelt things.

The most important thing to remember before appreciating or validating your partner is that your words and actions must be heartfelt and honest. When you genuinely express your feelings, they will touch your partner’s heart. They will feel closer to you, and consequently, your relationship will grow to a great extent.

  • Discuss your love languages.

Your partner cannot assume your love language. So, a part of affirmation is also to let them know that you always try to understand their love language. Expressing your love language will help them understand you better and, therefore, enhance clarity in your relationship. Chances of misunderstandings will be minimal.

  • Spending more quality time

Another very important love language in relationships is to spend more quality time with each other. Thai ensures that you will always have time for each other, no matter how busy you are with other priorities. The more you spend time together, the better you know and understand each other.

  • Attend social gatherings together.

Always go to parties and social events together. This not only lets you spend more time together but also helps you validate each other in public. You can proudly express your admiration and love for your partner before your family and friends. This is very important for improved mutual understanding.

  • Work on hobbies together.

Find something you are both passionate about. Spending quality time doesn’t always mean going to parties or family gatherings. Just a quiet day doing your favorite hobby together can also be a great way to just be there for each other. So, pick a favorite hobby and go for it!

  • Have tech-detox quality time.

It’s no use spending time together if you or your partner are constantly hooked to the phone. So, whenever you decide to spend quality time, make sure you have no gadgets to intervene. Just communicate directly with each other. This is very important for physical and emotional intimacy in relationships.

  • Plan sudden getaways.

Spending quality time is also about getting spontaneous with your relationship. For example, plan a sudden vacation on the weekend where you can sneak away from your busy schedule and spend quality time together. This keeps the spark of excitement and unpredictability alive in your relationship and brings you closer.

  • Have more frequent dates.

Don’t schedule date nights on specific dates. Just go with the flow. Plan sudden dates where you can spend quality time, enjoy yourselves, and get to know each other more. Don’t approach date night as something you just do in relationships; know that they affect your mutual understanding a lot.

  • Growing physical intimacy

Physical affection is as important as emotional attachment. So, if you want a healthy relationship, you have to prioritize touch and other forms of intimacy with your partner. This requires a level of belonging that connects you emotionally. Without this love language, your relationship will eventually reach a dead end.

  • Be comfortable with expressing physical intimacy openly.

Don’t hesitate to touch your partner when you want to, but don’t step into their boundaries. You have to make them feel comfortable so that they realize how important touch is and how it can bring them closer. Hugs, kisses, or even a pat on the shoulder matter a lot.

  • Cuddle more often.

Increasing physical intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean having sex. It’s about connecting with your partner in the purest way so that you can realize how much you love and need each other. Nothing works better than some romantic cuddling because you are just there for each other without any sexual urge.

  • Do activities that bring you closer.

Engage in odd activities that allow you to get closer to each other. You can cook in the kitchen or do gardening together- anything that involves being in close contact with each other. As already discussed, you can never underestimate the importance of touch and physical intimacy in a relationship.

  • Have emotional conversations.

Instead of discussing random stuff, go for deeper, meaningful conversations with your partner. Discuss things that help you connect to each other emotionally. Share your vulnerabilities and fears, things that make them realize how much you trust them. This is a great way to get to know each other better.

  • An experiment in the bedroom.

You cannot deny the importance of good sex in a relationship. It’s the highest level of physical intimacy you can achieve, and it helps you achieve emotional attachment very easily. So, when it comes to sex, go with your instincts. Experiment and relish your alone time, don’t stick to patterns.


Importance of physical intimacy in a relationship:

  • It helps you express your love and passion more easily.
  • It helps you overcome the stress and exhaustion of regular life.
  • It helps you build trust in your relationship.
  • It improves your emotional intimacy in general.
  • It boosts your physical immune system as well.
  • It gives you better morale.
  • It helps you develop deeper chemistry with your partner.
  • It benefits your physical well-being.
  • It gives you overall better satisfaction in your relationship.
  • It helps you sleep better at night.

Random acts of service

An important love language in relationships is letting your partner know how committed you are to them and this relationship.

No matter how busy you are with other stuff, you can never ignore your responsibilities. The way you deal with your contribution to the relationship shows your deviation and integrity.

  • Do the dishes.

This one is especially for men in relationships. Never generalize household chores based on gender. Even doing the dishes once in a while can help you express to your partner that you support them, no matter what. Sharing responsibilities is probably the easiest way to show that you truly care.

  • Cook for them.

Your partner always makes delicious dishes for you. So, another great way to show your love is to surprise them by cooking their favorite meal for dinner, even if you aren’t an expert cook. They will definitely enjoy it and understand that you just want to make them feel special.

  • Look after the kids.

This one is obviously for married couples. Partners should share the responsibility of taking care of their kids instead of dumping the burden on one person, in most cases, the mother. Helping them with the kids or taking care of the house will make you a supportive and kind partner.

  • Give them a break.

Book a spa session or movie ticket for your partner and ask them to enjoy themselves while you take care of their responsibilities. Let them know that they deserve a break. You are there to help them out. A constantly stressed out and burdened partner is hard to deal with. 

  • Don’t pester them to do something.

If your partner is occupied with something or not in the mood to do something for you, don’t keep pestering them. Just let them know what you need, and they will fulfill their duties wherever they are free if they are responsible enough. Nobody wants a nagging and irritating partner.

Surprising them with gifts

We all love and want to be pampered by our loved ones. So, another important love language you must adopt in your relationship is giving surprise presents to your partner. The price of what you give doesn’t matter; the warmth and honesty with which you give it count the most.

  • Prepare a treasure hunt.

If you want to make things more fun, you can create a treasure hunt for your partner, leading to a great gift. The concept is to let your partner realize that you are putting much thought into giving the gift and not just buying something costly because you have to.

  • Buy their favorite clothing.

Suppose your partner is planning to buy a specific jacket for a long time. You don’t have to wait for special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries to make your partner feel special or give them a nice gift. You can do it whenever you want to. This improves your bonding.

  • Throwing them surprise parties.

It’s important to celebrate your partner and their achievements. For example, if they have recently achieved something at the workplace or fulfilled a life goal, you can celebrate their success by throwing a surprise party with your loved ones. This validation and support are everything we need from your partners.

  • Surprise them at work.

Suppose your partner calls you to say that they are very stressed out with something at work. So, plan a sudden date, go and pick them up from the office, and have coffee. Little things like these can help your partner calm down and divert their mind for a while.

  • Do something unexpected.

Your partner loves salsa dancing, but you don’t. Sign up for classes without taking them and surprise them later. This will be great because you express your love and adoration of rhythm by doing something you are uncomfortable with. This shows your eagerness to make them happy.


Things to never expect from other people:

  • Validation- Don’t wait for someone to tell you what your worth is.
  • Appreciation- Compliments are okay but don’t rely on their appreciation to perform better.
  • Motivation- Create your own mantras and motivate yourself.
  • Understanding- Nobody will understand you better than yourself.
  • Optimism- It’s your job to keep yourself happy.
  • Fulfillment- You complete yourself, don’t wait for someone else to do it.
  • Joy- Nobody can make you happy if you don’t feel it from the inside.
  • Childishness- If you want to have fun, do so by yourself.
  • Solution- Find the problem to your own solution and always rely on your judgment.
  • Judgment- Nobody can make a better decision for you than you yourself.


There are plenty of ways to express your love language. Remember that there is no fixed formula when it comes to expressing your love and gratitude towards your partner. Go with the flow, do what you feel like. Know your partner’s preferences and try to understand their love language too.


Things to know about love languages:

  • Your words of affirmation must be heartfelt.
  • You cannot use your words as weapons to win an argument.
  • You have to take quality time seriously and work on it.
  • Always avoid giving your partner the cold shoulder.
  • Don’t expect your partner to spend a fortune to buy your gifts, and don’t do it yourself.
  • Don’t try to bribe your partner to get your job done.
  • Your acts of service have to be honest and without any expectations.
  • You cannot be lazy when you are making efforts for your partner.
  • Physical touch works only when you’re truly passionate.
  • You must never neglect your partner or act indifferent.

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