Even when you are in a loving relationship, it may feel like your man finds it hard to trust you with things.
He might be a person with trust issues resulting from childhood or adult experiences. Here are some important signs to tell if your man has severe trust issues.
He is very protective of you.
If your man is overprotective about you, this might be an effect of his trust issues. They always have a caring instinct toward your safety, even when there is absolutely nothing to worry about. He constantly wants to know about your whereabouts because he wants to know you are okay.
He is suspicious of everything you do.
No matter how close they are to their family and friends, they can’t trust anyone completely. He never expects much or doesn’t get hurt when someone hurts them. His trust issues lead him never to be biased about anyone, even if it’s a best friend or close relative to them.
He is afraid of intimacy.
If a man has trouble being physically or emotionally intimate with you, it is another effect of trust issues. Past experiences refrain him from being vulnerable to anyone, and he thinks everyone will take advantage of him. His inability to be intimate results from his inadequacy of trust and reliability.
He keeps bringing up past issues.
A person with trust issues practically lives in the past. Your partner is not strong enough to overcome the effect of his past experiences that keep interfering with his present life. So, if he keeps discussing unfortunate incidents from the past, he has trust issues he needs to work on.
He has a habit of snooping.
One of the most easily detected symptoms of trust issues is that the person loves snooping on people around them. If your man often oversteps boundaries and asks questions that disrespect your privacy, he might be having trust issues. Your denying to answer his questions just pisses him off more.
Reasons not to snoop on your partner:
- You are not entitled to violate their privacy.
- You are indirectly lying to them.
- You don’t trust yourself, and you are less confident.
- You will end up being the bad guy.
- It will lead to a communication breakdown.
- Your partner loses trust in you.
- It leads to insecurities and disputes.
- It is a gateway behavior.
- It becomes a bad habit you can’t get rid of.
- It is very toxic for your relationship.
He keeps checking your phone.
Since most of our lives are documented on our phones, your partner can easily know about your whereabouts if he browses through your mobile. But he will never do so if he trusts you wholeheartedly. A partner who constantly checks through your phone is obviously a victim of trust issues.
He stalks you online.
If your man is not with you, he keeps stalking your social media. He goes through your posts and status updates to see what you are doing or who you are with. He questions people liking/commenting on your photos. These are clear signs of a person with trust issues.
He has a problem with you hanging out without him.
Your man has a problem with you hanging out with other people in your life without him- a result of his trust issues. He wants you to take him everywhere because he doesn’t trust you. This is to ensure you don’t meet new people who can jeopardize your relationship.
He is a pro at overthinking.
The biggest quality of a person with trust issues is that they overthink every situation. Their mind automatically pictures things happening that will possibly never happen in real life. Your man will find complex meanings to the simplest of things, and it becomes a tough job to clarify his thoughts.
He is bad at maintaining relationships.
You can easily identify a person with trust issues if you look at his other relationships. If your man is generally bad at maintaining relationships with his family and friends, this could stem from his trust issues too. Heartfelt trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship.
Difficulties you might face in a relationship:
- You might have a hard time getting comfortable with intimacy.
- You may need to improve at conflict management.
- Not having your expectations will be painful.
- Romance isn’t everlasting if you don’t work on it.
- It might bring up sensitive issues.
- You will face brutal distractions.
- You might start taking each other for granted.
- A lot of effort and patience goes into a healthy relationship.
- You will not always be on the same page.
- It’s a struggle if not handled well.
He is afraid of commitment.
You can’t have a proper relationship if your partner is afraid of commitment because that means you are investing your energy and dedication into something meaningless. Your man is afraid of commitment because his trust issues don’t allow him to be vulnerable to anyone, even if you are very close.
He refuses to let go of grudges.
We all have our grudges and regrets. But holding on to them will just make us uncomfortable and hurt us more. Your man still holds on to grudges against people who have hurt him in the past. This is also why they refuse to let new people enter their circle.
He likes to think of himself as a loner.
You think your partner is an introvert, but it might be the case that he likes to be alone rather than to be with random people. This is mostly because his trust issues make him think it’s better to stay away from people and avoid the possibility of getting hurt.
He fears abandonment.
The prime motto of a person with trust issues is ‘Everyone will leave me.’ They are scared of being abandoned by their loved ones, and so they refuse to be too intimate with anyone. As a result of his pessimistic perspective, he always assumes the worst is yet to happen.
He is more focused on others’ weaknesses.
A person with trust issues always fails to see the good in people around him. Since he is used to being critical and pessimistic, he always manages to find a flaw in every matter. Instead of focusing on what makes your relationship strong, he chooses to see your drawbacks primarily.
Ways to overcome trust issues
If a person is suffering from trust issues, it will take a lot of time and patience to fix his problem. As a partner, you must try to be as gentle and understanding as possible instead of being critical or irritated. These are some things you can try for him.
Accept that trusting someone is difficult for him.
Firstly, acknowledge that your man has a problem. He finds it difficult to trust new people heartily, and this might be affecting his relationships. Help him practice not jumping to conclusions or dismissing someone’s good things instantly but don’t be too harsh on him. Give him time to get there.
Help him improve his communication.
Good communication is the most basic way to overcome trust issues. Your man needs to talk openly about his problems. But again, don’t try to enter his protective space, asking questions directly about his trust issues. If you can be kind and understanding, he will easily open up to you.
Let him know you trust him.
Even if he has problems trusting you, you must constantly assure him that you trust him and you believe in him. Don’t be suspicious or judgmental only because he behaves so with other people. This will give them a sense of security and will help them overcome their trust issues.
Talk to him directly.
Instead of letting him hold on to his issues or relying on someone else, talk to your man about his problem directly. Be understanding; let him know that you are okay with his problem and it is perfectly normal. Opening up about his issues will solve half of your problems.
Don’t play blame games.
Blaming your partner for his trust issues will not solve your problems. The most important thing is to be receptive and understand his problems. Sit together and figure out ways in which you can help him understand his trust issues and overcome them. Don’t accuse him of not being trustworthy.
How to not play the blame game:
- Analyze your actions before blaming someone.
- If you keep blaming, the person will eventually become emotionally numb.
- Rather than blaming, try to improve your communication skills.
- Choose constructive criticism instead.
- Blame the situation, not the person.
- Resist blaming someone who is blaming you.
- Be the bigger person and ignore.
- Don’t eternalize your statements.
- Know that imperfections are perfectly normal/Work on your patience and understanding.
Help them develop a fresh perspective.
When your partner thinks something’s wrong, ask him to develop a different perspective toward the problem. Better than saying to someone that ‘I don’t trust you, he could try saying,’ I find this a bit odd. Can you explain it to me?’ This will help you avoid unnecessary disputes.
Help him understand how important self-esteem is.
Trust issues develop in a person who doesn’t know to trust himself first. So, if your partner is having trust issues, tell him to work on developing his self-esteem. When you feel good about yourself, you are more optimistic and learn to focus on the goodness in everything around you.
Ask him to indulge in some positive self-talk.
You can assist your partner, but he has to do the hard work alone. So, whenever he’s having problems trusting someone or believing in himself, ask him to give himself positive self-talk. Help him believe that he tries his best, and with consistency, he will overcome his trust issues soon.
He needs to develop his other interests.
Before working on the problems you’ve been facing in your relationship, your partner with trust issues has to work on himself first. Ask him to find out what he is truly passionate about and work hard for it. This can be helpful in overcoming his problems with reliability and commitment.
He must spend more time with his loved ones.
This will not be easy, but he must try it to overcome his issues. Ask your partner to spend more time with his parents, relatives, and close friends- people with whom he can be comfortable. When he sees how much everyone loves him, he will overcome his lack of trust.
He needs to learn healthy handling of emotions.
Running away from your insecurities, like trust issues, will not make anything better. So, if your partner is feeling emotions like mistrust, jealousy, or negativity constantly, he has to cope with these problems without accusing himself or giving up. Let him trust his body in mind to help him first.
Help him recognize hurtful experiences in the past.
If your partner has trust issues, help him recognize where it stems from first. Let him identify past experiences that lead him to think as he does. Acknowledging your problems helps you overcome them more easily because you know that you must move on even though your trust is broken.
Ask him to trust himself first.
If your partner doesn’t trust himself, he will never overcome his trust issues and work on improving your relationship problems. So, he has to find out ways to accept his struggle with emotions and believe in himself. You will go through intense emotions, and it’s perfectly okay to be vulnerable.
Ask him always to let others express themselves.
People with trust issues never let anyone ever enter their circle. So, they don’t know how to let others express their feelings. Ask your partner to be patient with the people he interacts with and let them express their opinions. This is also a great way to overcome trust issues.
Speak to a counselor.
Things may often go out of hand, and a person is no longer in the phase to overcome his trust issues. In that case, he must talk to a counselor who can help him understand his problems and devise ways to fix his inability to rely on people around him.
Trust issues can be very harmful to any relationship. So, if you recognize any of these signs in your partner, address the matter seriously and have open communication regarding his problem. If handled with care, you can help your partner overcome his insecurities while maintaining a healthy and trustworthy relationship.
Signs you are dating a toxic man:
- He constantly gaslights you to create confusion.
- He never tries to see things from your perspective.
- He is the ultimate hypocrite you’ll ever come across.
- He lies to you pathologically.
- He pinpoints your mistakes but ignores his bad habits.
- He always has to be at the center of attention.
- He tries to assign false emotions to you.
- You have a constant gut feeling that something is wrong.
- Everyone around you thinks he’s perfect.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships