The 30 Secrets Of A Happy Marriage

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Being married to someone and mastering the art of being a good spouse is not as difficult as people think. Attention to detail, compassion, understanding, and maintaining your self-esteem and dignity- these things can help you lead a happily married life forever. Here are some secrets of a happy marriage.

The Secrets Of A Happy Marriage Life

Tell your spouse that you’ve been thinking about them all day.

Everyone wants to be validated by their partner. So, tell them you are thinking of them whenever you get time. They need to know that no matter how busy you are with other priorities, they are always on your mind. Spouses should make each other feel desired and desirable.

Allow them to speak openly about their feelings.

Instead of going on about your thoughts and emotions, always ensure your partner gets enough emotional space in your marriage too. To be a good partner, you must first be a great listener. When you respect your partner’s perspective and opinions regarding all matters, they know you consider them important.

Love your partner for the person they are.

Acceptance is very important in a relationship. Instead of trying to change your spouse, accept them for who they are. Everyone has specific strengths and weaknesses, and turning your back on your beloved spouse for their less desirable qualities is wrong. Instead, embrace every bit of them with open arms.

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Ways to respect yourself:

  • Figure out how you can respect yourself more.
  • Be honest about the person you are.
  • Take action around things that make you curious.
  • Don’t try to be normal.
  • Don’t let others define your limits.
  • Learn to say no.
  • Be with people who respect you.
  • Know that whatever you do is enough.
  • You are not your genes; remember that.
  • Apologize with high self-esteem.

Think of your life without them.

The one terrible thing that ruins relationships is if you take each other for granted. During fights, take a moment and think about your life without them. Feel grateful to have each other and honor the relationship you share. This will make you validate and respect your marriage more easily.

Learn to make compromises.

All couples go through disputes and misunderstandings. The key to handling these situations is to learn to compromise for each other’s sake. Instead of being selfish, learn to consider your partner’s perspective and desire a greater priority. This will make the bumpy road of marriage smoother to go on together.

Be physically attracted to each other.

Physical bonding in a marriage is equally important as an emotional bonding. Intimacy makes your relationship deeper and stronger. So, focus on being physically intimate with your partner. This doesn’t refer to sex alone; a simple hug or kiss can be more useful. Always make your partner feel loved and validated.

Always end your day on a positive note.

Even if you’ve fought with your spouse for some reason, never go to bed with angry thoughts. Whatever the issue is, sit together and find a solution. The more you avoid the problem, the easier it is for lack of proper communication and understanding to grow in a relationship. 

Enjoy each other’s company to the fullest.

With our busy schedules restricting us from spending quality time with our partners, ensure the time you spend with each other is truly bliss. Enjoy every moment and express how it feels to connect and interact intimately with each other. Try to be present for each other, physically and emotionally.

Be friends first.

Before thinking of each other as spouses, consider being best friends. Friendship is the core strength of any relationship. To have a healthy marriage, establish that you can have a great time together, support each other in times of need and never judge unnecessarily. Your bond needs to grow first.

Live in the moment.

Instead of overthinking or bringing up stuff from the past, learn to live in the moment. Be spontaneous and romantic. For example, go on a quick coffee date between breaks at work; make an impromptu movie date plan. This keeps the spark of excitement and curiosity alive in your relationship.

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Tips to learn living in the moment:

  • Get rid of unnecessary possessions.
  • Smile more often.
  • Appreciate every moment of your life.
  • Don’t get stuck on regrets and grudges.
  • Love what you do.
  • Dream about your future but work hard now.
  • Don’t get stuck on your past achievements.
  • Stop overthinking and worrying.
  • Think beyond old solutions for your problems.
  • Overcome addictions.

Decompress together.

Self-care is an important way to maintain good physical and mental health. You can do self-care activities with your partner to relax individually and together. Once a week, get into a hot tub together and take a long bath. This will soothe you and also promote intimacy with your partner.

Everything’s a date!

To have a strong marriage, utilize every chance you get to spend time with your partner. Even trivial household activities like cleaning the garden or going grocery shopping can turn into a fun date if you want. You must make all efforts to give each other time through your activities.

Have similar financial priorities.

You are a saver, while your spouse is a spender. This can work out but only for short-term financial goals. Regarding your longer-term targets, you must see eye-to-eye. This keeps your relationship on a steady footing and doesn’t allow money to get in the way of your happiness and understanding.

Have a sense of humor about your marriage.

Things may not work out the way you thought. Often, having a good laugh about what you fought for can be better than constantly fighting about it. Humor often tones down the situation and helps you avoid unnecessary blame games or disagreements. Enjoy everything that’s a part of your marriage!

Give each other ample space.

If you don’t spend time with your partner constantly, that doesn’t mean you don’t love or validate them. It’s important to give each other space in a relationship so that your partner can honor their individuality as much as in this marriage. Take a break and do something for yourself.

It’s a myth that the grass is always greener.

The root cause of unhappiness in a marriage is people thinking they could have found something better than their current relationship. Comparing your marriage to others, thinking of the shortcomings in your relationship instead of finding a solution or talking about it poisons your mind and heart towards your partner. 

Seek professional help if needed.

Seeking help from others is still taboo. You need help- this doesn’t infer your relationship is weak. Talking to a counselor about your problems might help you understand each other and the situation. So, if you think your thoughts and actions aren’t aligned with your partner, go to a counselor.

Know that you will have disputes.

The first mistake couples make is to idolize marriage as perfect. No, you fight with your partner; there are misunderstandings and disagreements, but you come out of it if you have unity and empathy. Having fights doesn’t mean your marriage is not alive; you must learn to deal with it.

Don’t always think about the future.

You are entitled to visualize a future with your partner. But, if you constantly think of what’s coming ahead, you won’t be able to appreciate the precious moments you are spending with them now. Focus on the present and go with the flow. Overthinking is very harmful to your relationships.

The truth is, no marriage is perfect.

Do you often see some of your friends and think about how they have a better-married life than yours? Stop doing that. Every marriage has its ups and downs. Comparing your marriage with others or constantly thinking about the futility of imperfections in your relationships is the least helpful.

Kiss each other good night.

As already said, live in the moment. Before you go to bed, think how lucky you are to spend another day with your beloved partner. Show your appreciation and gratitude by kissing them good night or hugging them tightly. Tell them how you feel about their constant presence in your life.

Have patience.

Partner makes your marriage resilient. If you don’t have faith in your partner, you will not have the patience to give your relationship enough time to work out. Everything is a process, and you must wait for the good things. So be patient, and you will live happily ever after.

Believe that you are a team.

The only mantra for a happy and healthy marriage is ‘we are in this together.’ Whether it’s your responsibilities or weaknesses, support each other in every matter. If your partner is going through a difficult situation, consider it a tough time for you as well. This will strengthen your bond.

Don’t consider each other as mere objects of lust.

Yes, you have a sexual relationship with your partner, but that’s not everything your marriage consists of. If you only consider your partner as an object of lust, you are disrespecting them and the role they plan in this relationship. Emotional attachment is more important and stronger than physical intimacy.

Say yes to new experiences.

To have a healthy and long-lasting marriage, prioritize saying yes frequently. Everybody wants a partner they can have fun with. If your partner wants to go bungee jumping or skydiving, go with them. This will help you overcome your fears and tell your partner you validate their likes and dislikes.

Decide your dealbreakers before marriage.

Instead of trying to change your spouse after getting married, it’s wise to know him/her as the person they are before you take the relationship further. Make sure you are aware of all dealbreakers before tying the knot. Remember that a person will not change their traits for you.

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Important dealbreakers to think of before getting married:

  • A partner who does not support you.
  • A partner who is afraid of responsibilities.
  • A partner who is never vulnerable.
  • A partner who doesn’t make an effort for you.
  • A partner with doubtful behavior.
  • A partner who doesn’t care to tell you about their whereabouts.
  • A partner with an uncertain job.
  • A partner who always lies to you.
  • A partner who doesn’t value commitments and honesty.
  • A partner who misbehaves with your family and friends.

Reminisce about your love life.

Couples should always think about why they fell in love with each other in the first place. This keeps them rooted and makes them validate the marriage with more respect and love. Save some precious memories that you can think of forever, things that connect with the person you love.

Make each other feel wanted.

The prime reason for marital problems is when one thinks their partner doesn’t want them anymore. Feelings of loneliness and resentment grow in their heart, and they overthink the relationship. So, in your way, make your partner realize that you always want them, and your love for them never ceases.

Have a life outside your marriage.

If you are too indulged in your marriage, or you and your partner are very dependent on each other, it can sour your marriage. Remember that your spouse and your relationship are a part of your life. You also have your interests, passions, family, and friends. Focus on them equally.

Be grateful.

Gratitude is the most important quality that improves every relationship in your life. Every day, feel grateful for having been blessed with such a great partner. Honor your marriage and thank the Almighty for everything He has given you. This gratitude will help you have a healthier and happier marriage.

Conclusion

We hope you know the secrets of a happy marriage now. The idea is to be genuine with your feelings, respect and love your partner with all your heart, and fulfill your responsibilities towards this marriage with love and sincerity. These little things will ensure you live happily ever after!

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Bad habits that hurt a marriage:

  • You try to change them.
  • You constantly find faults in them.
  • You engage in constant PDA.
  • You don’t hesitate to fight in public.
  • You avoid having healthy fights.
  • You never talk about your problems.
  • You never forgive them for silly mistakes.
  • You are melodramatic over little things.
  • You try to compete with them.
  • You always spy on them.

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