You may not even know you are in a bad marriage. The signs of exhaustion and toxicity appear gradually. This article lists some signs that clearly show that your marriage is in grave danger, and you must be more careful if you want to save your relationship from falling apart.
Signs of A Bad Marriage You Should Know
You live separate lives.
Although you are married and stay in the same house, it’s like two single people living together. There is no contact or bond in your marriage; you only take care of your individual responsibilities towards the marriage. As a result, your relationship’s love, warmth, and understanding have evaporated long ago.
You are okay with your spouse being with someone else.
Knowing that your partner is having an affair or has a better relationship with someone else doesn’t bother you. You can imagine your life without them; you know they will not be with you forever. The thought of being unable to make this marriage work bothers you the least.
You put your desires before theirs.
You are selfish and don’t care about the other person’s welfare and feelings. You only do what is good for you without even thinking if it affects your spouse. You don’t bother considering their opinion before deciding because you don’t consider them important. You don’t feel connected to them anymore.
You don’t have sex anymore.
Physical intimacy is very important in a marriage. You must think something is wrong if you do not feel attracted to your partner sexually. If you can sleep comfortably in the bedroom next to each other without communication, you must consider fixing your bad marriage and reviving your lost communication.
You don’t discuss anything with each other.
Be it your finances, workplace, or friends; you do not bother to tell each other anything. You have your lives and are happy to live without each other’s knowledge. Unfortunately, day by day, the distance between you is growing, and your marriage is falling apart due to a lack of understanding.
You think it’s okay for you to cheat on your partner.
Neither of you has a sense of possessiveness towards each other. You don’t mind them becoming intimate with someone else, and you don’t hesitate to flirt with someone as well. Your reluctance to consider each other’s feelings regarding any matter reflects the absence of love and honesty in your marriage.
You have an emotional affair with someone else.
If you find yourself talking to someone else online more than you speak to your partner, you are having an emotional affair with them. You find it more comfortable to talk to a random stranger than the partner you live with because you are gradually growing distant from each other.
Your life goals have nothing to do with them.
Be it your career or any other aspect of life; you do not think having your partner’s support and encouragement to achieve something great is important. They are unaware of your successes and failures, and you prefer doing everything by yourself. So you don’t even bother celebrating each other’s achievements.
Reasons to have a life goal:
- You can focus better.
- You can keep track of your progress.
- You stay protected from unwanted distractions.
- You stay motivated constantly.
- You have a vision.
- You are more responsible.
- You understand your potential.
- You have a better approach toward everything.
- You are a better planner.
- You are more organized.
You have constant differences in opinion.
When you find it difficult to agree with your partner regarding any matter, big or small, consider it a direct sign of a bad marriage. Marriage is an institution that binds people together, but if you cannot agree on anything, that points to a lack of understanding in your relationship.
You do not solve your problems.
Although you know your marriage is not working out well, you or your partner do not feel the need to make an honest effort and find a solution to your problems because you are done with it. There is no communication, so any chances of fixing your relationship are eliminated.
You would rather be alone than spend time with your spouse.
Even if you want to be with each other for a change, the other person makes lame excuses to get out of the plan because you don’t want to be together. Their company is intolerable, and you prefer staying alone or hanging out with others more often than being together.
None of you is interested in getting therapy.
Even if you know that you need therapy to fix your marriage, you do not feel the urge to go to a therapist. You would rather see your relationship fall apart before your eyes fix it. Nothing can be fixed anymore because you have lost all interest in your relationship.
Maybe therapy isn’t working for you.
Therapy sessions are not helping your marriage. Things between you and your spouse have deteriorated to such an extent that nothing can revive the compassion and understanding your relationship has lost. Remember that the best person to go to solve a problem is the one you have a problem with.
You will not compromise for anything.
For a successful marriage, proper understanding and the ability to compromise and sacrifice for each other are very important. But, you are in such a stage of your relationship that you choose your selfish desires and would not compromise for anything that could have fixed your marriage and improved understanding.
Thoughts of divorce linger in your mind.
You often wonder if divorce would have been the best solution to your problems. Even the smallest conflict in your relationship makes you consider permanently separating from your partner. If the thought of divorce doesn’t evoke feelings of sadness or despair in your heart, you are in a bad marriage.
All you have for each other is endless contempt.
The only communication you have with your spouse comes from those cold shoulders and whatever’s. You are constantly coughing and shouting at each other, and there is not one moment of peace. You have lost all respect for each other because you don’t validate the marriage and each other anymore.
You are both terrible listeners.
To be a good partner, you need to be a listener. But in your case, you and your spouse are so self-involved that you do not consider listening to each other important. As a result, only your opinions matter, and you have no consideration for each other’s thoughts and feelings.
You have innumerable secrets from one another.
Since you are disconnected from your spouse, everything you do in your life is a secret. They don’t even bother to talk to you about anything. If you don’t feel the urge to talk to your partner about your life, you are in a bad marriage with no mutual understanding.
Ways to keep a secret to yourself:
- Don’t tell anyone.
- Don’t let it be documented.
- Pretend it never existed.
- Try to be forgetful.
- Be mysterious about anything related to it.
- Change the topic.
- Lie if needed.
- Tell it to a pet to feel better.
- Bury it.
You pay no attention to your well-wishers.
Nobody wants to see a married couple fall out of love. So, even if your family and friends give you the advice to fix your marriage, you are reluctant to do everything they say or do. Instead, you ignore their good intentions and avoid them, considering them nosy and overly sympathetic.
All your fights include personal criticism.
Even the tiniest dispute leads you to criticize each other for no reason. There is no love or duration in your fights, and you just can’t tolerate each other’s bad habits. If you get irritated at everything your spouse does or says, know that your marriage is not working well.
Every time you talk, it’s a fight.
Not a day goes by without you fighting with each other. This is one of the biggest red flags to tell you that you are in a bad marriage. There is no scope for a healthy debate between you and your spouse because you are just busy having non-stop arguments.
You don’t have funny arguments.
If couples in a marriage argue with each other, that should be adorable, something you can think and laugh at later on together. But if you cannot have a healthy argument with your partner anymore, it’s because you are critical of each other’s habits, and your marriage is becoming toxic.
You would die but not apologize,
Apologizing to your spouse for a genuine mistake seems to be a difficult task for you. Your ego doesn’t let you see a simple apology to your partner, which you know could fix your relationship. The relationship becomes unhealthy if you cannot be yourself with the person you live with.
You can’t discuss your problems with each other.
Although people in a marriage are supposed to support and encourage each other in good and bad times, you cannot share your problems with your spouse. As a result, you hesitate to mention to them that you are in trouble and refuse to take any help or advice from them.
You do not care about each other’s well-being.
If one of you has developed a bad habit, the other person doesn’t even bother to fix it. You are so self-involved and reluctant towards your marriage that you do not even consider your partner’s welfare to be something you should be bothered about. You just let them be themselves.
There is no mutual respect.
Compassion and respect are the strongest pillars of any relationship, especially marriage. So, if you find it difficult to respect your spouse for the person they are, you might have trouble accepting them as your life partner. Without respect, relationships are dead; it becomes impossible to be with each other.
You have nothing in common.
You share no similar interests and choose to do your own thing without considering your partner’s interests. You do not watch the same films, listen to the same music, or buy the same things for your house. Wherever you go, differences of opinion keep following you, and you can’t agree.
You pay no attention to each other.
Even if you are in the same room, sleeping on the same bed, you have zero connection to each other. When one of you speaks, the other doesn’t bother to pay attention to what they are saying. This reluctance and lack of communication suggest you are in a bad marriage.
Reasons to be an attentive person:
- People can trust you.
- You have lesser misunderstandings.
- You can avoid conflicts.
- You are more empathetic.
- You get better at handling relationships.
- You perform better at the workplace.
- You have better friendships.
- You become more productive.
- You learn many new things.
- You learn leadership skills.
You feel exhausted in this marriage.
The constant fighting and lack of proper communication make you feel exhausted. You feel like this marriage is draining out all your physical and emotional energy, and you do not even have the urge to fix anything. At this point, getting out of it seems to you the easiest solution.
You get involved in a physical affair with someone else.
You are so done with your marriage and spouse that you step outside and start exploring other options. You even get involved with someone else, emotionally and physically, because you know your marriage is on its way to being over, and you can do nothing to save it from crumbling.
Talk to your partner if you find any of these signs in your marriage. Discuss your problems and find a solution as soon as possible. Also, separating from each other might be a solution to protect your mental peace if you are unhappy or reluctant to be in this relationship.
Ways to build trust in your marriage:
- Be true to your word.
- Have clear communication.
- Take your time.
- Make wiser decisions.
- Have consistency.
- Participate freely.
- Be honest and dedicated.
- Help each other.
- Express your feelings openly.
- Avoid being too self-involved.
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Hey! I’m Chris Woods . I’m a 38-Year-Old Personal Trainer Who Enjoys Eating Out, Watching Television, and Worshiping. I Have a Degree in Psychology. I’m Physical in Pretty Good Shape. My Average Height with Glowing Skin, Black Hair, and Light Grey Eyes. I Love to Write About Love & Relationships. So, That’s Why I Created This Blog to Share My Knowledge with You.