32+ Signs of A Controlling Husband (How to Deal with)

Unveiling the invisible chains that bind, this article delves into the intricate web of controlling behaviors exhibited by husbands.

With a disconcerting count of 32+ signs, this comprehensive guide navigates the treacherous landscape of a controlling husband’s tactics.

From incessant monitoring to manipulative isolation ?, each word of this eye-opening exposé sheds light on a toxic relationship’s ? subtle yet devastating indicators.

Delving beyond the surface empowers individuals to recognize the telltale signs and take the necessary steps toward liberation.

Brace yourself for a revealing journey that unveils the harrowing reality ? and equips readers with the knowledge to break free from the clutches of control.

Table of Contents

Signs Of A Controlling Husband.

1. He Isolates You From Your Family And Friends.

A controlling husband will always apply isolation tactics to your relationship. He will either try to physically distance you from your loved ones or convince you that nobody loves and cares about your happiness as much as you think.

He will always try to place himself as your biggest priority.

2. He Is Terrible At Accepting Criticism.

We all have our flaws, but if you have a controlling husband, he will get defensive every time you say he is wrong about something.

Even the slightest hint of negative opinion on your part upsets him, and therefore, you always have to be careful not to hurt his ego.

3. He Is Unnecessarily Clingy.

The biggest sign of a controlling husband is that he doesn’t respect private space. He always wants to do everything together. He keeps calling you to know where you are.

This might be an effect of jealousy, but it also signifies his sense of power and control over your life.

4. The Wrong Person Is Always You.

Being with a controlling partner for a long time will alter your thought process in such a way that every time you go through a crisis, you think you are the wrong one.

You are never good enough for them. This can be very harmful to your self-esteem and confidence.

5. He Is A Close-Minded Person.

Your partner has some opinions and beliefs that he will stick to, no matter what. He is so close-minded that he never even tries to view things differently.

If you are with someone who constantly shuts down your views and feelings, he is trying to control you.

6. He Tries To Sabotage Your Growth.

A controlling partner will always try to sabotage your flourishment, physically or emotional. When you work hard on yourself and try to make yourself a better person, he criticizes you.

This is because he doesn’t want to lose control over the naive you and so doesn’t encourage any positive changes.

7. He Wants To Be In Charge Of Finances.

Married couples should always devise a way to handle money efficiently but together.

So, if your partner tries to gain control of your income and expenses as a couple, he doesn’t trust you and wants his deacon to be final. Nowadays, financially abusive behavior in married couples is very common.

8. You Are Hurt By His Sarcasm.

We all enjoy good humor, especially from our partners. But if your partner’s way of teasing or joking with you feels like bullying and hurts you, he is deliberately being condescending.

He needs to stop saying ‘just kidding’ while being mean or offensive to you. Nobody should hurt your self-esteem.

9. He Loves You Conditionally.

If your partner loves you only during the good times of your life, his love is conditional. Life isn’t perfect, and you will go through difficult times.

If you never find your partner’s support or sympathy during tough times, he just wants to be in an all-take-no-give relationship with you.

10. He Makes You Question Reality.

A controlling husband will exhibit passive-aggressive behavior. He will gaslight you, never being direct about what he is thinking.

There arise situations where you end up questioning your relationship. This only gives your husband the upper hand for control. So, you should never tolerate a power imbalance in your marriage.

11. He Is Jealous.

Whether it’s a male friend or great progress at work, your husband will always have hidden jealousy.

The competition between you is unspoken yet very strong, and if not handled wisely, it will give rise to disputes. Also, things might get worse, turning this jealousy into a sort of paranoia.

12. He Is Comfortable With Invading Your Privacy.

There is nothing to hide between two married partners, but that doesn’t mean you can invade each other’s privacy whenever you want.

If your husband is going through your stuff or checking your phone, he wants to show you that he controls your life, and you must tell him everything.

13. Your Needs And Feelings Aren’t Important.

Your partner will only try to control you when he is selfish and wants to take advantage of the physical and emotional relationship he shares with you.

If he doesn’t respect your boundaries and is only concerned about his needs, consider it an essential red flag and fix it immediately.

14. He Tries To Dominate You Sexually.

If you are made to do sexual things for him that make your husband feel superior, this is also a sign he’s controlling you.

He must know he may not get sex whenever he wants it. Before showing control over your body, he must respect it first.

15. He Keeps Threatening You.

A controlling and abusive husband will often threaten his wife that if she doesn’t behave accordingly, he will leave her and end this relationship.

Most women let their husbands be controlling in fear of not letting this happen. This is extremely harmful to their mental health.

16. He Is A Liar.

A controlling husband will be disrespectful enough not to bother telling you the truth, and this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Even when you accuse him of lying, he finds excuses or behaves rudely to make you think you are the more controlling one.

17. He Misbehaves With Your Family And Friends.

A selfish and controlling husband will not even have the decency to hide his true self before his loved ones.

He doesn’t bother to respect you and, therefore, has no responsibility to be decent and kind to your family and friends. He has zero emotional involvement with your loved ones.

18. He Tried To Control Your Physical Appearance.

Has your partner ever asked you not to cut your hair or not wear blue because it doesn’t suit you? This is a sign of controlling behavior as well.

They want you to look and behave according to their preference and try to control how you dress and makeup.

19. He Controls Your Feelings.

Nobody will understand how you feel about something unless you tell them. So, if your partner tries to tell you how to react or feel about something, he is trying to control your emotions.

Remember that nobody can make you feel happy, angry, or grateful unless you do it wholeheartedly.

20. He Is Unsupportive Of Your Emotions. 

If your husband is controlling, he has no interest in your personal growth. Your ambitions and passions don’t excite him, and he doesn’t bother to support or motivate you.

Instead, he tries to make everything difficult and is too selfish to be interested in something that doesn’t include his welfare.

How to deal with a controlling husband?

Being with a controlling partner is difficult. The constant micromanaging and criticism are often too much to handle. Instead of accepting their indecency and doing nothing about it, you should be calm, talk about it openly and find ways to address the issue.

Here are some ideas to try out.

1. Don’t freak out.

Firstly, don’t lose your calm. Arguing or fighting will not solve your problem. Remember, never say or do something that escalates the situation’s intensity or worsens your relationship.

Try to find out a solution without shouting unnecessarily for being offensive to him. Help him get a fresh perspective.

2. Help him come up with a plan.

Use his controlling nature as a way to remedy the issue. Tell him honestly how you feel about his behavior and then find out ways in which he can control this controlling behavior.

Again, this strategy will not work if your partner doesn’t accept his problem in the first place.

3. Be understanding and kind.

Yes, he has a problem but don’t treat him badly. Be an understanding partner, see why he acts this way, and look at things from his perspective.

This way, you can avoid getting angry when he acts unwisely. Again, disrespectful behavior is never excusable, even if it’s from your partner.

4. Ask constructive questions.

The best way to deal with a controlling partner is to look them in the eye and ask questions directly.

This will show them that you are not giving up your freedom of speech or action. Let them know they are being unreasonable and indecent, and make them respect you.

5. Know that you will face denial.

A controlling husband will not accept he is so. So, convincing them that their inappropriate behavior will take some time.

If your partner is being stubborn, don’t lose your calm. Be extra respectful and patient, and don’t stop until he gets your point. Eventually, he will understand you.

6. Know when to set boundaries.

After you’ve had a clear conversation with your husband regarding their controlling attitude, make your boundaries clear to yourself and to him.

Tell him you are not willing to tolerate his negative attitudes, and he needs to correct them if he truly wants this relationship to be equal and peaceful.

7. Inform him of the consequence of this behavior.

Let your partner know that you are having issues with his controlling behavior; inform him of the consequences he’ll face if he doesn’t work on it.

For example, tell him that if he is disrespectful to you one more time, you will have no option but to leave the house.

8. Go to a counselor.

If your partner has serious controlling issues, talking to him or devising these strategies might not be helpful for you.

Before things go out of hand, go to a counselor and seek professional help. A trained person will help your partner accept and work on his issue more efficiently.

9. Don’t allow yourself to get isolated.

While trying to control you, your partner will try isolating you. He will have a problem with you going out with your family and friends or spending time alone.

Stand up for yourself and don’t accept his indecent behavior just to protect the relationship or not cause a dispute.

10. Don’t internalize criticism.

A controlling husband will constantly try to make you feel as if you deserve to be treated badly and criticized.

Remember that you are not being a selfish or rude person in asking for respect and honor from your partner. You deserve the best and should always fight for it.

Breaking Free from a Controlling Relationship

Assessing the level of control and danger:

  • Recognize the signs: Assess your relationship honestly and objectively. Look for signs of control, such as manipulation, isolation, constant monitoring, threats, or physical violence.
  • Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor about your concerns. They can provide an outside perspective and help you assess the level of control and danger in your relationship.
  • Use available resources: Reach out to organizations that specialize in supporting individuals in controlling relationships. They can offer guidance and tools to assess the level of danger and control you may be facing.

Building a support system:

  • Identify supportive people: Surround yourself with trustworthy and understanding individuals who can provide emotional support. These can include friends, family members, support groups, or helplines.
  • Communicate your needs: Let your support system know what you’re going through and how they can assist you. Be clear about your boundaries and the kind of support you require.
  • Connect with support groups: Join local or online support groups specifically designed for individuals in controlling relationships. These groups can provide validation, empathy, and valuable advice from people who have gone through similar experiences.

Seeking professional help:

  • Find a therapist or counselor: Consider seeking professional help from a therapist who specializes in trauma, abuse, or relationship issues. They can provide a safe space for you to process your experiences, explore your options, and develop coping strategies.
  • Consult legal services: If your controlling relationship involves legal or safety concerns, consult with an attorney or legal aid organization. They can guide you through legal processes such as restraining orders, divorce, or custody issues.

Creating a safety plan:

  • Assess immediate risks: Identify potential danger points in your relationship and develop strategies to stay safe during these times. This may include having emergency contact numbers, a safe place to go, or memorizing important information.
  • Document evidence: Keep a record of any abusive incidents, including dates, descriptions, and photographs, if applicable. This documentation can be useful if legal action needs to be taken in the future.
  • Plan your exit: Develop a strategy to leave the relationship safely. This may involve finding a secure place to stay, arranging for transportation, and considering the best timing to minimize risks.

Taking steps towards independence:

  • Establish financial independence: If possible, start saving money in a separate account and explore opportunities to increase your income. Consider reaching out to financial advisors or organizations that can provide guidance on financial empowerment.
  • Build your skills and education: Invest in your personal and professional development by acquiring new skills or pursuing further education. This can increase your employability and provide more opportunities for independence.
  • Develop a support network: Continue building a strong support system of trusted individuals who can assist you throughout the process of breaking free. Seek out resources and organizations that offer support for survivors of controlling relationships.

Conclusion

Any form of abuse in any relationship is inexcusable.  Try to fix it peacefully but respond and act on it before things go out of hand.

No matter how much you love your husband, if he’s controlling and refuses to change his behavior, you have to be strict with him.

FAQs

How does a controlling husband manipulate his spouse?

A controlling husband manipulates his spouse through various tactics that undermine her independence, self-esteem, and decision-making abilities. These tactics may include:

Isolation:
Gaslighting:
Emotional manipulation:
Financial control:
Verbal and emotional abuse:
Monitoring and surveillance:
Controlling daily life:

Is control in a marriage ever justified?

No, control in a marriage is never justified.

How can friends and family support someone in a controlling marriage?

Friends and family can support someone in a controlling marriage by:
Offering non-judgmental support:

Provide a safe and understanding space for the person to express their feelings without judgment or criticism.

Encouraging open communication:
Validating their feelings:
Providing resources:
Being available:
Respecting their decisions:
Encouraging self-care:
Safety planning:
Avoiding confrontations with the abuser:
Educating yourself:

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