We don’t often know how to identify a toxic relationship or understand if we are in one. In this article, we discuss some of the most important signs of a toxic relationship. If you relate to any of them, it’s time for you to step back and rethink your choices.
Your partner always treats you like a commodity.
It’s like they bought you at a store or something. They try to exert ownership over you and make your decisions. They do whatever they want without considering your opinion or feelings. This lack of respect or attempt to control someone’s freedom is an alarming sign of toxicity in relationships.
They keep talking about their past relationships.
If your partner keeps telling you about their ex or the good and bad things about their past relationship, this is a toxic sign. They are probably doing this because they are stuck in the past. Therefore, it’s impossible for them to fully commit themselves to you and this relationship.
They constantly try to invade your private space.
If your partner keeps pestering you to tell them your phone or laptop passwords or has a habit of constantly sneaking into your whereabouts, you are in a toxic relationship. They are doing so because they don’t trust you wholeheartedly, want to control you, and have insecurities about this relationship.
They never take your insecurities seriously.
You have to be mindful of their insecurities, but they are least bothered about your feelings. Even if you tell them that you are insecure about something in this relationship or want to discuss a problem, they pay no attention to you because they don’t consider your feelings equally important.
There is physical or mental abuse in your relationship.
You don’t even need a sign to understand if you are in a toxic relationship when your partner is sexually or emotionally abusive towards you. The first thing to do is to end the relationship and take necessary safety measures. If they’ve crossed boundaries, you can even take legal action.
They are sensitive, but only about themselves.
Your partner is empathetic, but their emotional mindfulness is restricted to themselves. They are hyper-sensitive when you hurt them in any way, even if it’s unintentional. On the other hand, when you feel hurt or insecure, they have no moral obligation to accept their mistakes or make you feel better.
They don’t hesitate to flirt with others in your presence.
Suppose you are hanging out with your other friends. Your partner doesn’t hesitate to flirt with others or be unnecessarily touchy, even when they know you are watching. This lack of respect comes from a lack of commitment to the relationship, and they probably take you too much for granted.
He is a professional at ghosting.
Another important toxic sign is when you are always unsure about where the relationship is going or what equation you share with your partner. They ghost you whenever they feel like it and only communicate with you when they want to. They are just in this relationship to pass time.
They are the best at manipulating and lying.
If your partner always lies to you unnecessarily or manipulates you to suit their needs, you are in a toxic relationship. They think they are great players and find joy in deception and mind games. No matter how charming a person is, always look at things from a logical perspective.
They will never be supportive of what you do or say.
People with toxic mentalities enjoy disagreeing with others and being unsupportive, even if they are wrong. Their false ego prevents them from accepting that people around them know stuff too. So, if you never find your partner’s constant support and encouragement in your endeavors, you are in a toxic relationship.
Signs of an unsupportive partner:
- Try to establish that your feelings are minimally important.
- They dismiss your opinions during difficult situations.
- They are not with you when you need them the most.
- They are not bothered by your success and failure.
- They don’t want to help you achieve your goals,
- They try to make everything about them.
- They never have your back when you want their unconditional support.
- They are never hopeful in big or little ways.
- They discuss your weaknesses behind your back.
- They are the most pessimistic person you’ll ever come across.
They bully you subconsciously.
Your partner may seem charming and humorous outside, but they are actually dismantling you mentally. They know you well and, therefore, can use your vulnerabilities against you. Even if you object to their manipulative or insensitive behavior, they manage to bully you into continuing to stay in this toxic relationship.
They keep bringing up your past.
It’s important to be transparent about your past relationships before you start a new journey with someone new. But, you are in a toxic relationship when your partner refuses to let go of your ex and keeps referring to your past relationships. You can notice passive-aggressive behavior in such people.
They are only bothered about physical intimacy.
If your partner is in this relationship just for sex, you can never expect any emotional intimacy. All they are interested in is getting you into bed; they are least bothered about your feelings. If a person is reluctant to grow emotional intimacy in a relationship, it’s a toxic sign.
They constantly snoop on you.
As discussed, a toxic person cannot trust anybody. Therefore, you are in a toxic relationship if your partner constantly snoops on you or gets irritated if you ask them to respect your boundaries. You cannot stay with someone who wants you to ask for their approval before you do anything.
They don’t prioritize self-care.
Before you take care of someone, you have to love yourself. So, if your partner is constantly stressing over things, deliberately causing problems, or doesn’t have the ability to be peaceful themselves, they have a distorted perspective. They don’t love themselves; how can you expect them to love you wholeheartedly?
They try to alienate you from your loved ones.
A good-hearted person will never disrespect the special bond you share with your family and friends. You are in a toxic relationship when your partner tries to alienate you from your family members. If you are gradually losing touch with your loved ones because of them, it’s a toxic sign.
They have zero work-life balance.
You know a person can stay committed to a relationship when they are disciplined in other aspects of their life. If your partner has problems dealing with work-life problems or is extremely messy about important matters, they lack focus and dedication in everything. This will eventually affect your relationship too.
They are overly dramatic.
Does your partner have a habit of creating a big scene or threatening you that they will harm themselves whenever you try to talk about your relationship problems? Well, you are in a toxic relationship, and your partner is just creating unnecessary drama to divert your attention from important matters.
You break up and makeup; it’s a pattern.
Your relationship is always on and off. You break up and then come back just to start it all over again. You might be superficially or physically attracted to this person but what you need to realize is that this relationship is toxic, and you have zero compatibility with them.
Signs you should break up with your partner:
- You are not making any good memories; you just keep reminiscing about the old ones.
- Your partner never makes any effort to make this relationship work out.
- This relationship makes you hate yourself.
- You are constantly drained emotionally.
- There are a lot of unspoken grudges and undealt resentment.
- The loved ones in your life don’t approve of this relationship.
- You are costly walking on eggshells around your partner.
- It’s as if you are sterling for less than you deserve.
- You are more concerned about an improbable future, not the present.
- You have zero physical or emotional compatibility with your partner.
They are always testing you.
A relationship becomes obnoxiously toxic when your partner has major trust issues. They can never rely on you, and you have to prove yourself to them. They always think you are cheating on them or you are not equally interested in this relationship. They are overly insincere and, consequently, mistrusting.
It’s always you who has to compromise.
Even one-sided relationships can be toxic. You are doing everything in this relationship while your partner doesn’t feel responsible at all. This lack of balance is bound to cause problems later. So, if you are the one being bothered by relationship issues or apologizing during fights, it’s a toxic sign.
You are mentally exhausted in this relationship.
A relationship should encourage you to become a better person and a more reliable partner. Instead, if this relationship is toxic, it will drain you emotionally. You will constantly feel exhausted dealing with relationship issues or trying to figure out your relationship dynamics. This is harmful to your mental health.
They are extremely narcissistic.
In some relationships, toxicity and misunderstanding arise from one partner’s selfish ego. They are narcissistic; they think very highly of themselves, and this lack of humility can crumble down even the best of relationships. If someone is too self-obsessed, they won’t be able to compromise to make their relationships better.
They are constantly critical of everything.
If your partner is always complaining and criticizing you for trivial reasons, your relationship will eventually become toxic. Everyone wants a supportive and sensitive partner who will motivate them, no matter what. So, if your partner is doing the opposite and constantly deeming you unworthy, you probably don’t want it.
Even your communication is toxic.
How can you be in a healthy relationship if you never have heartfelt communication with your partner? We all know the importance of good interaction. So, if you are constantly restricting yourself from speaking openly because you fear they will judge or humiliate you, you are in a toxic relationship.
They always run away from complicated situations.
You will surely face difficult situations in a relationship. But if your partner always avoids these situations and dumps the responsibility on you, you are in a toxic relationship. You cannot solve problems on your own, and this way, you can never have unity and proper understanding with your partner.
They make you feel unworthy.
Instead of motivating you, your partner makes you feel unworthy. They treat you with disrespect and take you for granted. So, if you find no emotional growth in this relationship, you are living in a toxic ambiance. Your partner is not who you think they are; it’s just an illusion.
They manage to bring out the worst in you.
Nobody is perfect; we all have our flaws. A good and kind partner helps us cultivate goodness in ourselves. On the other hand, a toxic partner and being in a toxic relationship will always bring out the worst in you. Their thoughts and actions will overrule your mind and heart.
They have zero practical wisdom.
Things can become worse if you are married or living together. A lousy partner who cannot handle their finances wisely or someone who doesn’t value commitment and honesty in a relationship is difficult to deal with. This can create a huge emotional burden on you and wreck your mental health.
They neglect you emotionally.
Your partner is in this relationship with you, but they never provide you with emotional support or at least are there to take care of you. So, if you cannot even feel the mere presence of a person despite being in an intimate relationship with them, this is extremely toxic.
No matter how emotionally attached you are to someone, and you cannot be in a toxic relationship. The longer you stay, the worse it is for your mental well-being. If you notice signs of a toxic relationship, end it immediately. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot truly validate love ever.
Signs of a healthy relationship:
- You never rush into anything, and your relationship is moving at a comfortable pace.
- You trust each other with everything.
- You are not afraid to be completely honest with each other.
- You don’t pressure each other about anything, and you have independence in this relationship.
- You have tremendous respect for each other.
- There is equality in this relationship; you never minimize each other’s opinions or feelings.
- You always treat each other with empathy.
- You are not afraid to express your responsibility and commitment.
- Even your conflicts are healthy and constructive.
- You are enjoying your relationship together to the fullest.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships