Breakup is one of the worst things that anyone has to go through in life. After years of serious relationship, that person just breaks up with you. It is very disheartening and difficult to say goodbye to that person.
Some people manage to part ways and never see each other. But for some, it is very painful and decides to stay friends to keep each other company. This way you can still stay in touch with your ex and don’t have to say those painful goodbyes.
Here are some things you should consider when you are being friends with your ex:
However, being friends with your ex is not easy and is very different from being friends with other people. There can be some uncomfortable moments between you and your ex. So, you need to be very careful when you are being friends with your ex to avoid such situations.
Your reason for still being friends with your ex
The first thing that you consider is why do you want to stay friends with your ex after a breakup. You need to figure out this if you want the friendship to work. It can be really hard for you to answer as it is not that simple.
So, take your time as much you need and figure out the reason. There can be any number of reasons for you to be friends with your ex. All you need to do is take your time alone and find out why.
You like them as a friend
For some people, a relationship is more than being together. It is about sharing feelings, having fun together, and enjoying each other’s company. So in some way such people develop a unique friendship between them.
If you are those types of people, then even after a breakup, you would still enjoy their company and would like to be friends with them. They make you laugh, spend time with you and take care of you. So you like them as a friend even if you two are not together anymore.
Do you still have feelings for them?
When you are being friends with your ex, you need to ask yourself whether or not you have feelings for them. It is very important as it can affect your friendship. You need to be completely honest with yourself and find out the truth.
If you still do have feelings for them, then you should tell your ex about it and be honest. This way you can make sure that you two still stay as friends. But if you don’t, then your feelings can lead to some uncomfortable situations and you may even get jealous of your ex’s new partner.
Have you got a proper closure?
Some relationships do end just like that without a proper closure. It can lead to confusion and an uncomfortable situation as you have no idea how your ex feels about you. In such situations, being friends with your ex can be quite confusing.
So if you never had a proper closure with your ex, then you need to talk to your ex about it. Tell them about your feelings and why you want things to end properly. If you get proper closure, then you can still be friends with your ex without any problem.
Do you still miss them?
Are you still friends with your ex because you just cannot live without them? If yes, then you need to figure the thing out quickly. Being friends with your ex when you still have feelings for them can lead to very confusing situations which you should avoid at all cost.
If you truly miss your ex and that is the reason for you being friends with them, then you should confront your ex with your feelings. Tell them how you feel and how much you miss them. This way you will be able to remove the heavy burden from your heart and feel free.
Have you set some boundaries?
Being friends with your ex is very different from being friends with anyone else. To maintain a good friendship with your ex, you need to set some boundaries which will allow you to keep the distance and still be friends.
You can set boundaries like how much you talk to them, or how close you two get or anything else. Just make sure that you share it with your ex as well so that both of you can work together to keep your new friend healthy.
Are you getting jealous of your ex’s new partner?
After breaking up, your ex may soon get a new partner. You need to check whether you are getting jealous or not when your ex is spending time with their new partner. If you do, then it indicates that you still have feelings for your ex.
Such things can lead to more complex situations in the future. So, you need to figure things out and decide how you want to proceed. You can share your feelings with your ex and see how they respond or you can end the friendship as well to avoid such situations at all.
Do you fear being alone?
Are you friends with your ex because you are too scared to be alone? Fear of being alone is natural and there is nothing you can do it stop it. You will be surrounded by your friends and family members who will always be there for you. But you still feel rejected or abandoned by your ex.
This may be the reason you are too scared to let your ex go and choose to make them your friend instead. If that’s the case, then you should be very careful of how you take forward your friendship with your ex. One small wrong move can hurt your new friendship badly.
Is it okay to be friends with your ex?
Even after a breakup, many people choose to stay friends with their ex to stay in touch and keep each other company. However, it is not like any normal friendship and there are a lot of things going around. There will be some uncomfortable moments as well when you are friends with your ex.
- As per some people, being friends with your ex is completely fine and there is nothing wrong. But some people don’t recommend it due to various reasons. Either way, you are the one who gets to decide whether you two will remain friends or not.
- A relationship is not just about living together. It’s about taking care of each other, support each other, and so on. Due to this, many couples develop a friendship in a relationship that stays with them even after the breakup.
So, you may not be able to leave your ex even if they break up with you. If you are happy with your ex and are enjoying their friendship, then you should continue being friends with your ex no matter what others say.
Just be honest and don’t hide anything from your ex to keep your friendship healthy and safe. If you still have any feelings for your ex,, you should confront your ex and express your feelings to them. It will help you bond better with your ex even after the breakup.
How to be good friends with your ex?
Have you decided to stay friends with your ex after break up? If yes, then congratulations on your new friendship. There is nothing wrong with being friends with your ex and is perfectly normal. A lot of couples nowadays are friends with their ex even after parting ways a long time ago.
However, simply being friends with your ex is not enough. You need to make sure that you are doing everything for the new friends to make it last as long as possible. Here are some tips on how to be good friends with your ex:
Find out why you want to friends with your ex
Before taking any step, you need to find out exactly why you want to be friends with your ex. Is it because you like their company or because you still love them? Whatever the reason may be, you need to be honest with yourself. Take your time to figure out things and see why you want to be friends with your ex.
Finding the reason will help you in future to prepare yourself if anything happens. You can also share your reasons with your ex and let them know why exactly you want to be friends with them. It will help you strengthen your friendship and will help you in the long run.
Be completely honest with them
If you truly want your new friends to flourish, then you need to make sure that you don’t hide anything from your ex. Be completely honest with them and let them know how you feel. It will help you gain trust from your ex which also strengthens your friendship.
But if you choose to hide things from your ex, then it can badly affect your friendship and you may even lose your friendship with your ex. Thus, be completely honest and express your feelings no matter what you feel. If you do so, you two can even become best friends in the long run.
Let the past go
You two may have had some of the best moments together when you two were in a relationship. However, those times are gone and you two are no longer together. You need to accept it and let the past go.
Those memories can be very hard to forget and some stay with you forever. However, you need to understand that your ex has moved on and you also need to do the same. If you cling to the past, then it will affect your current friendship with your ex and you may even lose it.
Thus, instead of remembering the past, you need to focus on the present and have fun with your ex. You can still have fun together as friends and there is nothing wrong with it. Enjoy your time together and cherish every moment of your friendship.
Be genuine about your friendship
Always remember that you are now friends with your ex and are no longer in a relationship. You need to genuine about your friendship and let them know how you feel. Your ex may start dating someone else after breaking up with you.
You need to be prepared for such situations and be there for your ex whenever they need you. You can’t let jealousy destroy your happy friendship with your ex. Be optimistic and don’t try to get back your ex by doing meaningless acts.
Set some boundaries
Setting some boundaries is one of the best ways to be friends with your ex. This way you can limit communication, the time you spend together and so on. Remember that you are no longer in a relationship and cannot do things that you used to.
Thus, setting up some boundaries is a better idea to control things. You cannot flirt with your ex after you become friends with them. Never talk about the past and how you two used to spend time together. Rubbing those memories will do no good and you two will end up in an embarrassing situation.
Get in touch with your ex
Honesty is very important in a friendship. If you are not honest, then your happy friendship with your ex can break just like that. Be open and let your ex know how you feel and why you still want to be friends with them.
Don’t be shy about anything and talk with full honesty. If you do so, then you can become best friends with your ex even if you two are no longer dating each other. Just make sure that you don’t hide anything from your ex. Treat your ex just the way you treat your other friends and enjoy all the moments you spend together.