Relationships are beautiful, and so is love. Love is known to be the best feeling and the most beautiful thing in the world. It is something that we all long for. It hurts when something so beautiful can also tear people apart.
If you are experiencing a struggling relationship, here are some ways you can save it.
Tips To Save A Struggling Relationship From Falling
Accept that the damage is done. The earlier you accept that the damage has been done, the earlier you will be ready to do what is necessary to save your relationship. Don’t believe otherwise.
As it is your relationship is struggling to survive. Accepting the damage that has been done, and taking steps to amend the whole situation is the only sane thing to do. So take hold of the situation now. It needs your urgent attention.
Be responsible for your own actions. It shows great maturity when one takes responsibility for one’s own actions. Once you take the responsibility, you will begin formulating different avenues for the appropriate solution.
Also, when you take responsibility, your partner will try and take responsibility. That itself is half the problem solved. The rest can easily be worked out. Never shy away from taking responsibility. This one action may save your relationship yet.
If you have made a mistake, accept it. We all make mistakes. To own up and accept that you have made the mistake shows great character.
And be prepared to rectify it. It is time to prove that you have the grit to rectify the harm caused by your mistake, the same way that you have proven courage by accepting that you have made a mistake. It’s a great way to earn back your partner’s trust – that’s another point that we talk about next.
Decide to take the necessary steps to gain your partner’s trust back. The damage has been done, all have been accepted. Now it is time to gain back the lost trust of your partner. You may have to work doubly hard for that.
Whatever be the result, at least you will know that you tried the best you could. So with that in mind, keep doing things to win back your partner’s trust. Make your partner fall in love with you all over again. You will feel rejuvenated by the effort you put in, and funnily, it will allow you an opportunity to rediscover yourself.
You need to be extremely transparent with your partner. It is time that you be transparent with your partner. After all, that has been one big reason for the fallout between you two, and it has been a primary cause for your relationship to have formed cracks from within, isn’t that so? So it is high time you realized how important it is to be transparent with your partner.
Go for counseling sessions. With a damaged relationship, it is always recommended that you two go for counseling – both for individual counseling sessions, and also couple counseling sessions. It would work wonders if you could go for an added couple therapy along with the counseling.
And an external involvement can heal the wounds faster and get your relationship back on track quite quickly as well. Try it. You have nothing to lose, but ever so much to gain instead.
Care for the person you hurt. You have hurt your partner already. Why not start caring for your partner? It is very normal for you to take care of the person you love. And more so because he or she has been hurt by you. This is a great way to try and save your struggling relationship.
Be compassionate. Being compassionate proves the kind of person you are. You have been hard in your relationship. That’s the reason it is falling apart anyway. So it is time that you be compassionate and express your kindness and thoughtfulness at every opportunity. It may a novel way to get your relationship back on track.
Have realistic expectations. We tend to expect more than we should at times. If you can keep your expectations realistic you may not be disappointed as much as you have been till now. Surely one can expect as much from you as you do from him or her.
And if you don’t live up to your partner’s expectations, should you expect your partner to live up to yours? Is that actually justified? So begin by keeping your expectations moderate and real. You will be satisfied in every way possible.
Your expectation is real; your partner lives up to your expectations, and it is all the same with your partner’s expectations of you also. It is a win-win situation for both of you.
Visit your partner regularly. Just because your relationship has hit a rough patch it doesn’t give you the excuse to meet your partner less frequently than previously. Rather, you should now meet your partner regularly. Having yourselves by each other’s side may actually be quite relieving, especially to know that your relationship has not broken apart fully.
Plan Online Dates. With the damaged situation, it may be quite a problem to meet each other in person regularly. In such a situation why not plan online dates with your partner. Without the physical presence, you both will stay toned down and will talk more freely while you guys may even break the ice and talk about fixing your relationship.
Have your own life too. Your relationship is struggling. You are trying to get it back on track. However, don’t give it all your time. Have some ‘me time’ also. It is a great way to refresh yourself. Without appreciating your own existence, and accepting that you have your own life too, how can you expect to seriously take care of your relationship at all?
Don’t be obsessed with your partner. A very big mistake some of us tend to make is becoming obsessed with our partner. Your partner is there. Great. Isn’t this obsessiveness one of the reasons for your relationship to have hit the rocks? So why continue being obsessed? Your partner is there. Just be there. Allow both of yourselves space that you both need.
Your partner deserves freedom. Maybe your partner needs some freedom, don’t you think? So why try and cage your partner? Live free, and let your partner live free too. It is one reason for many relationships hitting rock bottom. It is something to rectify immediately. Discuss it with your partner, whoever be at fault here. And allow yourselves the freedom and space that you both need.
Don’t chase. Don’t keep chasing your partner. It may take the wrong turn. It is far better to live and let live. Don’t encroach on your partner’s time or space. Give up the chase. Just be there for each other.
Take a step back. You may have been at the front at all times. Maybe taking a step back will do the trick. It may actually relax the situation and perhaps the tension will recede. Try it and see for yourself. More often than not, this really works.
Clarify things with your partner. Communicate more with your partner. Don’t let it be a blame game. Don’t be the passive one. It is better that you guys discuss the situation and clarify many aspects. It may lead to your relationship coming back on track again. Sometimes even stronger than ever.
Communicate. A LOT. Just as we said about clarifying, you and your partner must be able to communicate a lot. It is through ample communication that clarifications may be made and accepted. It is through a lot of communication that all tensions and misunderstandings can be eradicated. So communicate. A lot at that, too.
Know when to compromise. You should know when to compromise. No use being a hard-headed person here. You love your partner. You have responsibilities toward each other. There are times when a compromise may be required to avoid tensions. And here the stakes are already too high. Your relationship is beginning to fall apart. So why not compromise and save the relationship?
Make little sacrifices. You should try to make little sacrifices so that your partner can feel more comfortable. Maybe he or she will also do the same. A little sacrifice here and there doesn’t hurt a wee bit mate. Rather it paves the way for deeper love and a stronger bond.
Have your own social circle. Instead of mixing up both your circles, have a social circle of your own. Especially at this juncture, it will help you get clarity of thought. It will allow you to discuss various aspects of your current situation casually, and that may even give birth to various solutions to bring back your relationship to normal again. Go ahead and try it. If not anything else, at least you will have a diversion from the tension in you.
Don’t let go of your friends. Friends can play such a vital role in these situations. Your friends may be the ones to mediate and bring you guys back together into a normal relationship again. Or sometimes they may be the source of sustenance for people like you, those going through a major upheaval in their lives. So never let go of your friends, especially during such phases.
Hold your partner’s hand. However tense the situation is go ahead and hold your partner’s hand. It is so reassuring at any time, anywhere. It may be the one thing that your partner wants and needs right now. It may be the reassurance that your partner seeks in you. And it will be equally reassuring for you, too, that you haven’t lost the battle to keep your relationship intact.
Have a deep and meaningful time with your partner. However much you guys may be hurt by each other, or to see your relationship falling, spend a lot of time together. And make sure you both are there for each other, come what may.
Try to make your time together as deep and meaningful as possible – for both of you. It may be the reason why you guys actually makeup and come back together with a stronger bond and deeper love.
Try and connect on an emotional level. Even though your relationship is cracking up, try to connect emotionally and also try to give your partner the emotional support and strength that he or she needs.
Show your partner that you will always be there for him or her, even if you guys separate. And also let your partner see and know that you are doing everything in your power to make amends, to compromise, and to try hard to bring you two back together.
Have skill when communicating. Communication is important. More so if you have the skill to communicate well. It needs great skill to communicate effectively and to the point. It may drive your point well into your partner and mellow down the tension.
Don’t accuse and blame them. This isn’t a blame game. Don’t make accusations either. What has happened has happened. It is by far much better to try and resolve the situation rather than aggravate an already tense situation.
Know that things happen in life. It is the mark of a mature brain to know that things happen in life. Accept them and accept the fact that they happen for the better. Staying positive and accepting these simple facts of life, while being patient in resolving the situation, actually will help in bringing back your relationship on the right track again.
React wisely. The reaction is a normal thing but reacts wisely at all times. Tone down your reaction at all costs. No use adding fuel to fire. Neither is it advisable to be absolutely empathetic in places where you should show a little more emotion.
Don’t throw tantrums. Never throw tantrums. You will not only aggravate the already sour situation but may also trigger your partner to try and stay away from you.
Act like mature adults. Try to be mature and act like adults. It is the mature adults who actually seem to have lesser problems than others. Actually, they may have more problems than others, but it is their sense of being mature adults that actually let them cope with any situation.
Don’t curse. Cursing and abusing are two great detriments to any person. They undermine a person’s true potential and also reduces him to a lesser being in the eyes of others. So curse less, talk more, and be more discerning in your choice of words.
Speak your heart. Speak your heart. It is one thing that truly helps in keeping all misunderstandings at bay. Of course, don’t be blatant. You can always mellow down your speech a lot more than what you may have welled up inside you but do let it all come out, and you will be regarded and respected as being truthful and transparent.
Listen to your partner well. Don’t be the only one who talks. Make sure you have your partner talk too and listen attentively. Don’t get distracted. Remember half the conversation is listening. Also, a good listener is the best conversationalist. So listen attentively to your partner. Make him or her talk. And be a good listener. It will certainly pay off in saving your relationship from falling apart any further than it already has.
Break any monotony. It may be monotonous at times. Break it. Take the initiative to bring some interesting things into your relationship. When you guys smile you love each other more. It helps to bring back the spark in the relationship.
Look at the bright side of your relationship. Why whimper and whine at the dull side of things, especially your relationship? Focusing on the bright side will actually bring back a lot more happiness in your relationship. So look at the bright side. Always.
Be thankful for little things. Be thankful for all the little things. Maybe she has hung your kerchiefs to dry, or taken your empty cup to the kitchen sink to wash it clean. Appreciate these small things. And don’t just be thankful. Express your thankfulness verbally. Maybe even by holding your partner’s hand to thank him or her.
Have some fun times together. However bad the situation of your relationship, try to have some fun time together. It will bring out much happiness and gaiety to your relationship. And it may be the reason for you guys patching up for a stronger relationship together.
Build intimacy. Don’t mistake just sex for intimacy. Intimacy can be a sensuous touch, pecking, necking, slow and soft whispers, just a coy smile. Intimacy builds up into finally making love. Making love is quite different from just having sex. It is a much longer and more enjoyable way to be more intimate with each other. You will be pleasantly surprised by what intimacy can achieve for both of you.
Know if it is worth it! Whether it is worth letting go of, or whether it is worth trying to keep it, you should first know whether it is worth it. Whichever it may be. Have
Rethink what got you two together. It is during times like these that both of you should rethink and reminisce what actually brought you two together. Try and relive them. Goad each other into doing those things again now. They may be the reason why you guys come back together again.
Find the root cause of your problem. Why not try going to the root of the problem. The root cause of your problem needs to be taken care of. So the earlier you reach the root, the quicker you can rectify the situation for the better. Go ahead and search for the root cause of your problem and resolve it. Now.
Do special things for your partner. To pacify the situation you guys are in why not do some special things for your partner? These small gestures may soften your partner and get him or her to overlook the negatives, and try and make up for them. After all your partner loves you too.
Forgive each other. Asking for forgiveness is human. Being able to forgive is divine. You guys love each other. So why is it so difficult to forgive each other? Go on. Take the chance. Forgive each other. And then make up for your mistake as well. See the beautiful effect this has on your relationship. You will bask in the depth of the love you share hence.
Set boundaries, if you have to. If need be, set boundaries. This may ease things. And boundaries for both of you. Maybe such an act will also help you guys to appreciate the one to respect the space that has been given to him or her, and also for the space that the other has.
Work on your individual selves. It is a prerogative that you work on your individual selves first rather than your relationship. You will be surprised by what happens next. Your relationship will have taken a turn towards a path that neither of you ever imagined that you guys could walk.
Don’t be violent when in a fight. A quarrel is okay so long as it doesn’t take a violent turn. Breaking things, throwing objects, and even hurting each other physically will only spoil things further between the two of you. And the scars remain, more the ones in your minds and hearts. Talk it out, okay to be a little louder than normal, but no violence whatsoever.
Celebrate little things. Celebrate the smallest of things. It is a great way to call for little happy times together. And it becomes happier when you celebrate each other’s little things. Remember that it is the loss of happiness that began to make your relationship fall apart.
Don’t try to be controlling. When you love someone you will never be controlling of him or her. If you are controlling, it means you don’t really love your partner. Be more introspective and ask yourself how you would feel had your partner been the same way and did the same things that you do to your partner. You may begin to hate yourself. So pay heed and let go of that control now.
Know if it’s time to let go. If it is time to let go, just let go. Why stick on with something that will keep hurting you both? And if you love your partner truly, you will let go so that your partner is happy. It is your partner’s happiness that has always made you happy. So let him or her be happy again.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships