Although most relationships start well, the passion/spark dies out often and you realize that he/she isn’t “the one for you.” It often isn’t easy to be upfront and let your partner know about it. You wouldn’t necessarily want to hurt them either. What do you do? Here are some tips to help you out.
Here are Tips to Say “It’s Not Working”
Be prepared. Before starting with these types of conversations you should be prepared.
Be specific. While having this conversation you should be specific with the reasons and make it clear.
Find out the problem why is it not working with you and your partner. Before doing anything, you should first recognize the problem that is hindering your relationship.
Explain to your partner what you needed in the relationship. While having this conversation with your partner state the thing that you needed in the relationship but it wasn’t there.
This conversation should also be informative for your partner. The conversation that you will have should be informative for your partner also.
Unhealthy relationship. Tell your partner that the relationship between you and your partner is getting unhealthy and you are unable to continue being in it.
Difficulty. Tell them that you are facing difficulty in discussing your needs with them, and it is time to work on yourself.
No future. Tell your partner that you cannot see any future in this relationship so, it’s better to be apart.
Go for a walk. You can start this conversation when you are walking through a park or something.
Getting hurt. Tell her that you are getting hurt from the incidents that are occurring and you think it’s time to move on in life.
Breakup. While having this conversation you can tell your partner that you want to break up with them but be as sensitive as possible.
No will. You can tell your partner that you have lost the will to stay in the relationship anymore.
Current situation. Tell your partner that you have a feeling that it would be best to break up and it is the best decision in the current scenario.
Satisfaction. Tell your partner that you are not satisfied with the relationship that you and your partner share between themselves.
Jump to a conclusion. Do not talk about things unnecessarily, jump to a conclusion.
Feelings have changed. You can tell your partner that you do not feel the same as you did when the relationship had started.
Compatibility. You can tell your partner that you think the relationship will not remain compatible in the future.
Tell your partner that you had a great time with them. You can tell your partner that the time you have spent with them and the moments that you have created together were great.
Slip your main motive into the conversation. You can slip into this while talking with your partner.
No passion. You could tell your partner that the passion that you shared with them has faded.
The right way. Go to the right place, sit together hold your partner’s hands, and say everything. By holding your partner’s hands, it will give them the strength to face it.
Hug and say. It will be a lot better for your partner if you say these things while you are hugging them.
Tell them about their good qualities first. You can start by telling them about some of the good qualities that you liked in them.
Tell your partner that your schedule at work is very busy.
Take help from your very close friend. To have this conversation you can even take the help of your friend on whom you and your partner have trust. But even if you do that at last it’s you who has to face everything.
Make them promise you. Before telling your partner, you can ask them to make a promise to you that they will handle it no matter what.
Better partner. You can tell your partner that they deserve someone better.
Flowers. Take flowers for her which your partner loves the most and then start the conversation with your partner.
Check their mood. Before starting this conversation, you should check the mood of your partner it will inform you how well they’ll handle it.
The hardest thing to get over. After having the conversation, you can tell your partner that this was the hardest thing for you to get over and admit.
Reassure your partner. Tell them they were the only person with whom you have spent the greatest time.
Be ready with both aspects of the relationship. Before having this conversation be ready with both the positive and negative aspects of the relationship.
Be empathetic. You should try to feel the anger and hurt from which your partner is going through before breaking the news to them.
Things you love about them. Tell your partner about their qualities that made you fall in love with him/her and this could be a good way to start.
Be honest. While having this conversation you should be honest with your partner instead of untruthful.
Give your partner some time to respond. When you have told your partner the reasons, then let them take some time to respond. It might be very hard for them.
Choose the best place and the best time to have this conversation. For conversations like this, you should always choose the right place and time, that makes things a tiny bit easier.
Do not interrupt the way your partner responds. Your partner may get angry or emotional while they respond so, at that time let them speak.
Be sure when and how to use the right word. Be patient while talking and use the right words at the right time. This will help a lot.
Learn how to end things healthily. Usually, they do not end in a good way but if your partner is mature and understanding then it can end in a healthy way for both individuals.
Do not show too much kindness. If your partner gets emotional and you try to be very kind, it may pull you back from your decision.
Be direct. Do not beat around the bush while talking, be direct with your answers and reasons.
Understand their mental space. Before starting the conversation under their mental space.
Do not be too harsh or too subtle. While doing this you should not become too harsh with your partner or too subtle. Treat them with respect but be confrontational.
Speak with a firm and respectful tone. Be firm and speak with a tone of respect while talking to your partner.
Do not use technology. Do not have this conversation over a phone, talk about it in a face to face manner with your partner.
Do not try to overpower your partner by saying it’s their fault. During the conversation do not blame your partner for the current situation even if it is.
Try to be there and comfort them if possible. If your partner gets too emotional or low you can comfort them but don’t do it too much. It will be hard for you to leave them once that happens.
Tell them that being friends is possible but you will maintain the LINE. After this, you can ask them to stay as a friend only and nothing more than that.
Don’t try to play it cool and ghost them. Do not be cool while having this conversation because it will ghost them and it will be immoral to do it in that manner. Act like a grown-up and handle it maturely.
Do not try to overcompensate for the situation. Do not think that it is your fault and if you think like that you may overcompensate. Every person deserves to be happy.
Always listen to them too. Often, they might have something insightful to say about the relationship. So, listen to them very carefully.
Don’t forget to give second thoughts. If you still truly love them but think that it’s better to break up, give it a second thought. Talk it out with them.
Do not go into fights or any sort of blame games. Playing blame games will land you in making up an even greater mess.
Keep aside your ego. Do not let your ego come in between the conversation because it can have a bad impact.
Talk like mature adults. Ask them to keep aside their ego as well and talk like mature adults instead of fighting and blaming each other.
Explain your motive. List some things to explain and justify your motive to break up with your partner.
Never think that you are the bad person for initiating a breakup. If you are the person who is initiating it then do not feel that you are a bad person and you are doing the wrong thing.
Do not indulge in any victimizing tendencies. You should not indulge the tendencies of victimizing.
Speak out what is in your heart. Speak your heart out, but think twice before being unnecessarily blatant.