Relationships require effort, and often it is not there from both sides. There might be a third party who potentially breaks the relationship. There are some ways to determine whether a partner is committed or having an extra-marital affair.
Tips to Understand if Your Partner is Having an Affair
1. A change in grooming habits. An individual starts molding himself in a different way when he/she gets a different company. He will get conscious about his looks all of a sudden and may go shopping often.
2. Taking calls in the washroom. A shift will be noticed in the way of taking calls. The person will move to a quiet place, and if a regular pattern is observed, it might be fishy.
3. He suddenly becomes private. A person may introduce new app locks, delete his history, or regularly deny giving his/her phone to their near ones, and this may indicate something suspicious.
4. The person is seen hiding his/her financial statements. When a person dates someone, he/she will splurge to make the partner happy. In an extra-marital relationship, this is very risky and hence, the person will hide the credit card statement or cut down on the family expense.
5. A change in work schedules. When a person randomly changes his/her fixed routine and says to attend more late-night meetings, stay out for work on a regular basis, etc., this may be a red alert.
6. Showers his/her partner with extra love and affection. Anything that suddenly becomes overwhelming can be suspicious. Extra displays of affection can be a way to suffice an unethical relationship.
7. Lack of intimacy should not be noticed. There will be a definite lack of intimacy and closeness between the partners. The couple will not feel the warmth, and they will be distracted and mechanical, even while cuddling.
8. The other person will often get to hear a new name. A constant name will always pop up in every conversation. The person will keep on praising his/her attributes now and then.
9. Change in attitude. When a person is balancing two relationships, he/she may be stressed out, and a slight provocation will clearly reflect in his/her attitude or behavior.
10. The gut will say something is wrong. A person’s instincts can tell him/her if anything is wrong or different. The sixth sense of some of us can really predict things.
11. His/her appearance will improve. The significant other will suddenly start paying attention to his/her health and looks. Wearing perfectly tailored outfits and matching accessories can be a hint of what’s going on.
12. Secretive phone/computer use. A person who is cheating will tend to be hooked to the phone or laptop and use it secretly. They will always be conscious and restrict others from touching the gadgets.
13. Certain periods when the person is unreachable. The person will start giving lame excuses and will be unavailable for long periods of time. This is like living in a dead zone.
14. Different levels of sexuality in the relationship. Lack of interest or more of it can be a sign of infidelity. The partner is focused on someone else and trying to cover it up, leading to an intimate yet mechanical situation.
15. Hostility towards the person. The one who is cheating will always try to rationalize and cover up their mistakes. They will blame you for anything that happens and will not appreciate you anymore.
16. A sudden alteration in the schedule. A person who never works late may lie and stay back for long hours at work to be with the new affair. He/she may have many justifications but will not stop being late.
17. His/her friends will seem uncomfortable. The friends may already know about the extra affair, and they might try to avoid you and your parties. They will feel uncomfortable even having a conversation.
18. Unexplained expenses. A sudden drop in the bank amount may be noticed. Asking about the extra expenses, the partner will lie and will avoid or argue. Extramarital affairs are costly, and this is a hint.
19. There is little or no emotional intimacy. The relationship will not be as intense as earlier. The partner will emotionally become vulnerable or absent-minded. This will signify that the bond is lost.
20. Possessiveness over the mobile phone. They won’t let their children or partners fiddle with their phones. They will always carry the gadget with them and keep it on silent mode.
21. Secretive and mysterious behavior. They will always try to hide their affair and display peculiar and unexplained behavioral traits.
22. Gather new hobbies. A new hobby can be an excuse to spend long hours outside may indicate a problem. They might deliberately take it up to spend time with their partners.
23. Being moody and argumentative. A person, who previously used to be calm and compassionate, may turn moody and angry. They may criticize their partners and belittle them constantly.
24. They will stop posting about the family on social media. When a person cheats or becomes unfaithful, he/she stops posting memories on social media, which might hurt the third party.
25. Taking long hours to reply. It is possible for a person to remain busy on days, but a constant delay in replying shows a lack of importance. It takes seconds to reply, but the person would rather spend that time with the new affair.
26. Finding unknown gift cards and bills. If the partner finds some bills of accessories or pieces of jewelry that she/he has not received, it is a red alert that her/his partner is gifting stuff to other people.
27. Not spending quality time. A person who is already getting attention from another party will find no interest in spending some alone time with the partner. This leads to a distance between the couple and misunderstandings.
28. He/she is hard to get in touch with. The phone is always busy. The person does not call back. The person gives work excuses even on holidays.
29. The person frequently watches pornographic videos. Pornography initiates surreal expectations and destroys relationships. The person expects very smooth and flowery situations and when fails to accept reality.
30. He/she will be aloof even when times are not right. A person, who is investing most of his /her time luring another partner, will fail to be affectionate towards family problems. He/she will ignore the duties and stay aloof.
31. Respond to questions with one-word answers. The person may be ignorant or too busy to reply properly. He/she will avoid sitting down and discussing stuff. They will rather answer shortly and leave.
32. Be tempted easily. Some people get lured very easily. The person will empathize a lot more with some other person rather you. You will feel left out.
33. Hanging out with a new and unfamiliar crowd without you. The partner will change the common group of friends. He/she will hand it out with unfamiliar faces and will be unwilling to take you to that party.
34. Forget important dates. The partner will forget important dates like anniversaries. He will not give much importance to it and will try to compensate with expensive gifts. The person will also not notice the efforts given by you.
35. He/she lies about little things that are not much important. Petty issues that do not require lying will also not be considered. The person will lie very easily and not think twice before making up stories.
36. He/she will constantly be texting someone but will not specify the name. The person will constantly reply to a particular person but will never reveal the conversation or the name. He will say it is related to work and so on.
37. The person will accuse you of cheating. This is a defense mechanism often used by persons who cheat. They will turn the blame towards their partners and get away with the guilt.
38. He/she will not be attached to the children like before. The person might not want to spend quality time with his own children. He/she would rather be somewhere else than attend to the duties of his/her children.
39. Being less responsive. The person will suck at responding in time. He will act lazy and ignore all responsibilities. He/she will not at all bother to discuss family matters together.
40. He/she starts talking about the other gender a lot more than usual. The person may suddenly start praising certain qualities that you had no idea he/she liked about the other gender. It may be looks, or attributes, but he/she will always find ways to appreciate them.
41. Best defense is a good offense. The person may try to distract one from his or wrongdoings by accusing his/her partner and gaslighting them. This ruins the relationship.
42. Dropping hints about one particular woman/man. The person will start talking about this one-man/woman and subconsciously give you the hint of an affair. He/she will start comparing you with that person and create unnecessary trouble.
43. Not wearing his usual cologne. When a person woos somebody, he molds his taste according to the other person. He may stop wearing his usual scents and develop some new fancy taste that you are unaware of.
44. The person changes the password on the shared media accounts. The person will set up independent accounts and will deny giving access. He/she must have something to hide that forces the person to block you from seeing certain things.
45. He/she does not answer every call in front of his family. The person gets selective while answering phone calls. He/she will not pick up certain calls at home and not entertain every video chat request. If this happens regularly, there is a problem.
46. A person who has cheated in the past is more likely to repeat it. A person may feel he/she can cheat and easily get away with it. They innovate new ways to hide their deeds, and once they get caught, they frame stories. The partner should remain careful.
47. The person overcompensates. The person will suddenly start praising everything you do. Or he/she will bash other people out of nowhere just to make you feel better. This behavior must make you think twice before appreciating the sense of false security.
48. The thrill of sex is gone. Sexual attraction fades between the couple. Their love life becomes shattered, and the person is more comfortable sharing his/her intimacy outside. This is stressful and wrong.
49. They do not appreciate the efforts put in by their significant others. When their partner gets ready for them or prepares good food for them, they just don’t appreciate the effort. They neglect their partners and distract themselves away from the bond.
50. Friends will have weird conversations and will act differently. The interactions will be different, and they will laugh and joke without any reason behind your back. It may be because they know about the affair and is well aware of your suspicion.
51. I am the new “US” for the person. The person will hint at breaking up and will nudge you to get out of the relationship. He/she will enjoy things alone and not make you apart.
52. The person stops recognizing known scents and memories attached to them. There are certain memories in a relationship that are always special. If the person fails to recognize the known scents and the known places, it is mostly because he is getting attached to somewhere else.
53. You find a secret bank account. This means the person is seriously crossing all limits and is supporting a full-blown relationship outside. This should be taken care of strictly, and the person must be questioned.
54. The mother and other close relatives will stop calling you frequently. This may happen because he/she has told the news to the family, and they have thus recoiled. If suddenly they stop checking on you, you may sense something fishy and start doubting the partner.
55. The person stops discussing the future together. If the person is already planning his/her future with someone else, he/she will obviously not discuss future plans with you. This shift can be noticed, and his/her ignorance towards the future of both of your lives can be seen.
56. He/she starts arguments as an excuse to leave the house. When a person has certain obligations outside, he/she will prefer being there only. They will start quarreling over petty issues and will end up leaving the house. It is a very common case for all unethical relationships.
57. The person will take forever to return from the daily walk. On some days, it is valid. But, if this goes on for long periods of time, it may happen that the person ends up going to his/her affair’s place and spending time there.
58. One day, they get caught red-handed and start lying. You may catch your partner dining at a restaurant or clubbing when he/she lied to you before leaving. Once you catch him/her, they start giving excuses and blabbering.
59. both of you have stopped fighting altogether. Since your partner is busy with the affair, you do not get time to interact or quarrel together. Instead of quarreling daily, you guys become too distant even to talk. Every conversation feels like a forced one.
60. Headhunting is common. The person is picking up fights just to boost his/her ego and to gather enough reason to justify the cheating. He/she later can use them as an excuse.
61. He/she openly disrespects you in front of friends and family. This is a big turn-off and a surety that the person is having an affair. He/she just wants to get rid of you, and these are the cheap tricks that the person is trying.
62. He avoids family events. The fear of getting caught is so deeply rooted that the person avoids as many interactions as possible. The person just finds ways to not answer and spend time with the family.
63. You will find birth control stuff in his/her belongings, whereas you clearly do not use them. This is a red signal that he/she is cheating on you by getting involved in a physical relationship behind your back and is taking precautions while doing so.
64. The person does not plan any holidays and does not accompany the family on one too. The person stops going on holidays and prefers staying alone. This means he/she is least bothered about the family’s happiness, and all that matters is spending time with the extramarital affair.
65. Upon confronting, the person just babbles. The person lacks legit reasons and just beats around the bush when caught. He/she gets blank and thinks about weird stories to save his/her face.
66. You do not argue about the shows and music. Suddenly, the person will have no interest in listening to music together and watching shows. He/she will not even want to change the channels, and this change will irritate you.
67. He/she does not plan surprise birthday parties. Previously, you would get surprised on your birthday every year. But, now, it is all very boring and usual. The person may, at times, forget the birthday too. Even if he/she remembers, he/she will give excuses to justify.
68. The music taste will change all of a sudden. A person who used t hate pop songs will suddenly be addicted to them. He/she may completely stop hearing their favorite genre because of some third-party influence.
69. Suddenly quit smoking or drinking. You were not capable of letting the person quit his/her bad habits. But one fine day, he/she will stop or at least try to stop every bad habit and this will be a shocker.
70. Listen to your gut and take action. If everything fails, listen to what your gut says and act accordingly. This will help you build a good future ahead.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships