It’s important to step back once in a while and assess the health of your relationship. Being in an unhealthy relationship is harmful to your mental health and ruins your perception of love. Here are some important signs that will help you identify if you are in an unhealthy relationship.
You make excuses to protect your partner.
Supporting your partner unconditionally doesn’t mean you back them up, even when they are wrong. But you do so because you are over-conscious about what people think of your relationship. You are trying to force the fact that you are happy and you have a healthy, loving relationship with them.
You hide things from your partner.
You don’t have any clarity in your relationship and know that your partner can be critical or judgemental of your opinions and decisions. So, to avoid uncomfortable situations, you start hiding things from them. This indicates a lack of easiness and trust in your relationship and, consequently, makes it unhealthy.
You don’t respect your partner or vice versa.
If you want your partner to know how much you love them, respect them first. So, if you or your partner never hesitate to be disrespectful to each other and don’t apologize for your misbehavior, your relationship is definitely unhealthy. You don’t value the importance of mutual respect and understanding.
You can’t be yourself with your partner.
The point of having an understanding partner is that you can always be your true self before them without any fear of judgment or uneasiness. But if you are constantly concerned about your image when you are with them, you don’t have the comfort zone to have a healthy relationship.
You always dodge uncomfortable discussions.
Disagreements are a part of every relationship. The correct way to deal with them is to approach them head-on and not get into ugly fights. But if you are avoiding the issue instead of addressing it directly, you don’t have the understanding with your partner to solve a dispute peacefully.
Ways to stay calm during an uncomfortable situation:
- Try to fake a smile, even if you don’t feel like it.
- Ask questions that will help you understand and solve the situation better.
- Always remember not to have inappropriate body language.
- Don’t run away from your problems.
- Don’t try to fill a silence with unnecessary responses.
- Always look at the possible positive outcome.
- Make people around you laugh so that everyone feels better.
- Take it easy and believe in yourself.
- Look at the situation from a different perspective.
You can only do things when your partner allows you to.
It’s okay to ask for your partner’s opinion or feelings before doing something or making an important decision, but they should not control your life. If your partner is constantly telling you what to wear and not, or where to go or not, they are trying to run your life.
You are always thinking you’ve messed up.
You don’t know what your partner feels about you, and so you constantly think that you have done something wrong. If you are frequently asking yourself, “Is he/she mad at me?” you are in an unhealthy relationship. With proper understanding, these questions will never come to your mind.
Your partner makes you feel bad about yourself.
Nothing can be worse than a demotivating and constantly critical partner. If something your partner says or does makes you feel bad about yourself, this relationship is not just unhealthy, and it’s toxic. Partners must be gentle and understanding, even when they are pointing out each other’s flaws or correcting mistakes.
The thought of a breakup makes you feel better.
This is probably the ultimate sign that you are unhappy in this relationship. While going through a tough phase, you think of breaking up with them because life after that seems peaceful. This expresses your lack of deviation and respect towards this relationship and loss of attachment to your partner.
You always play the blame game.
Blame games in a relationship are the most exhausting and unhealthy of all. This expresses your failure to act as a unit and take equal responsibility for your mistakes. Before you start fixing your problems, you have to think that whatever happens in your relationship, you are in this together.
People tell you you’ve changed.
Our relationships are a part of our lives, not everything. So, if being in this relationship is changing you as a person, and people around you are pointing that out to you, something about it is not okay. You are with someone who is changing your individuality, even if subconsciously.
You bring out the worst in your partner.
Your partner should be your greatest source of strength and inspiration. But, instead of inspiring you, your partner is triggering your weaknesses or vulnerabilities. If you are failing to bring out the goodness in each other in this relationship, there is no emotional growth, and your relationship is obviously unhealthy.
Your relationship affects your work life.
You have an unhealthy relationship if, no matter how hard you try, you can’t maintain a work-life balance. The relationship is hampering your dedication to your work, and you are becoming less productive every day. Your love life is making it hard for you to focus on other important things.
Your relationship is a roller coaster forever.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but it is unhealthy if you lack stability. You cannot just be in a relationship because it’s never boring, and you are enjoying the good and bad things. There is no thrill in being with someone who cannot provide you with emotional stability.
You cannot speak your heart out.
Partners should have an equal say in a relationship. Your relationship is unhealthy if your partner always disregards your opinions and you don’t have any freedom of speech. You are not in a good place in this relationship if your opinions constantly differ and you always end up having ugly fights.
You know you can be happier.
When it comes to relationships, we always deserve the best. So, if this relationship often makes you think that you could have been with someone more loving and understanding, something is wrong. There is no room for growth or improvement, and you know someone out there could make you happier.
Your needs are not a priority.
This relationship is not about you; it’s about your partner and what they want. This imbalance makes any relationship unhealthy because one of them is completely neglected- their wishes and needs, both materialistic and emotional, are on the back foot. It will eventually feel like being in a dictatorial relationship.
Way to set priorities in life:
- Create a list of things you have to do.
- Differentiate between necessary and not-so-necessary tasks.
- Don’t stress yourself out throughout the process.
- Know that you might have to compromise in certain situations.
- Assess your productivity every day.
- Do the most difficult thing first.
- Always plan smartly to be prepared for everything.
- Try to make it a skillset.
- Have a timeline for everything.
- Don’t be distracted by anything that comes your way.
There is a lot of negative energy in your relationship.
The most alarming sign of an unhealthy relationship is a lack of easiness and flexibility. You have good memories, but there’s more negativity than there should have been. The fights are ugly, the disagreements drain you emotionally, and you are never hoping for something good to happen to your relationship.
The relationship makes you question your worth.
Have you ever thought,” I don’t think I deserve him/her or ‘He/She is too good for me? These thoughts only come when you are not self-confident enough. Something about this relationship is making you question your self-worth, and you start a hopeless journey to become perfect for them.
There is an utter imbalance in your relationship.
You cannot have a healthy relationship if you don’t consider it a partnership. Both of you have equal rights, and nobody can control the other’s thoughts. So, if you think you don’t have a say in this relationship, you are in an unhealthy relationship, and there is no mutual respect.
You feel like you are stuck in this relationship unwillingly.
Do you ever think that you are in this relationship just because you want a partner, or do you constantly live in fear of being lonely? Convince yourself that these are not valid reasons to be in a relationship, especially when it is stressing you out and becoming emotionally unhealthy.
You give your partner ultimatums.
There is constant manipulation in your relationship. You ask your partner to change their behavior; otherwise, you would break up with them. This expresses the notion that you are okay to leave them. Playing mind games is a way to show that you are in control and they are powerless.
There is no trust in your relationship.
Trust is the foundation of a relationship. So, if your roots aren’t strong, you don’t need a sign to tell you that your relationship is unhealthy. If you constantly doubt each other and your interactions are full of uncertainty and insecurities, your relationship is about to see an ugly turn.
You always let things go.
It’s true that you should not hold onto your grudges or disappointments for too long in a relationship. But, if you are more flexible and have a habit of forgiving your partner again and again, they will misuse this privilege and keep making mistakes, thus leaving no room for improvement.
You have no social life.
If your entire life revolves around your relationship and you don’t have a social life, it is unhealthy. Having a partner doesn’t mean you stop spending time with your family and friends. So, if this relationship has made you push all your loved ones away, it’s time to think again.
You feel unsafe with your partner.
Even after being in this relationship for a long time, you don’t feel safe with your partner. Something about them makes you uneasy, and you have been uncomfortable in their presence once or more. This can either be for your past intimacy issues or something creepy they’ve said or done.
Your opinion depends on their acceptance.
You say or do something you don’t believe in. You are afraid to express your heartfelt opinion about something because you think they will judge or mock you. So, if you don’t have the freedom to say your honest opinions out loud, there’s no way this is a healthy relationship.
Past issues keep coming back.
Every relationship goes through some tough phases. But it is unhealthy for your relationship when you keep dwelling on the past. If you or your partner constantly bring up problems that have already been dealt with, it will obviously affect your present understanding and fill your relationship with unnecessary negativity.
You have frequent disagreements.
You will not always agree with your partner on every matter, and there will be disputes. But if you think that most of your relationship is about ugly fights, bad-mouthing, and blame games, something is definitely wrong. Constant fighting and differences ruin the peace and positivity in a happy relationship.
This relationship is draining you emotionally.
If all your mental energy is spent on dealing with this relationship and your partner, it will never be peaceful or fulfilling for you. You cannot constantly try to keep your partner happy without thinking about your mental health. A relationship should never be the reason for your emotional damage.
You should never be in a relationship that is not fulfilling. These are important signs of an unhealthy relationship that you must constantly look out for. If you can tick some of these boxes, it’s time to rethink your decision and do what is best for you in the future.
Relationships couples most modern-day couples face:
- They struggle more with relationships because they think more intensely.
- Long-distance relationships make you constantly worried about the future.
- You have ugly fights more frequently and finding a solution is tough.
- You are okay with being away from each other.
- You don’t feel the urge to appreciate your partner wholeheartedly.
- You want to spend more time with yourself nowadays.
- You keep thinking about your past relationships and if it is possible to go back.
- You have no gratitude for kindness in this relationship.
- You don’t think you are as happy with your parents as people expect you to be.
- You don’t think this relationship is permanent, and you are meant to be together forever.
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“Compassion, understanding, and connection” – these three words describe me the best. I founded “TheLoveBoy” to share joy of Love. As a self-taught practitioner, I have been studying the dynamics of human connection for the past decade and my passion lies in sharing my insights with others. My mission is to help individuals cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships