Why Do I Feel Single in My Relationship?

Not everyone in a relationship is happy. There are people who think they have a very caring partner, but if you look carefully, they feel single even while in a relationship.

In this article, we discuss some important signs to understand why you might feel single in a relationship.

Your partner is indifferent to your absence.

Suppose you are away from your partner because of work or other commitments. They never say that they miss you or can’t wait to see you again. They are least bothered whether you are around them or not. This will not happen if your partner is genuinely attracted to you.

They never listen to you.

You feel single in a relationship if you have a partner who never listens to you. They pretend to pay attention, but if you ask later, you’ll see that they remember none of the stuff you told them. This happens because they don’t feel like giving you their undivided attention.

They are not romantically serious.

Everyone knows you are in a relationship, but you don’t feel like it. Your partner never makes you feel there is any romance or emotional attachment between you. They treat you like a friend and always try to keep things casual. This lack of seriousness and commitment is bothering you.

They are never excited about anything related to you.

You probably won an award or achieved something important in your life, but you never have your partner to share your joy and excitement with. They don’t encourage you to do better and are completely indifferent to your success and failure. It’s a sign that you must rethink this relationship.

They never text you back on time.

You keep texting them, but they never reply to your messages on time. This reluctance arises from a lack of commitment because they aren’t bothered about the fact that someone is waiting for them. You don’t have effective communication, consequently making you feel single even while being in a relationship.

They don’t even want to have arguments.

Arguments are important in a relationship if you can be understanding and constructive. But if your partner is not even interested in talking about your problems or even considers that there is an issue in your relationship, you have nobody to interact with. This eventually leads to loneliness and despair.

Hanging out with you is a painful thing for them.

You’ve been asking them to go out on a date with you, but they are constantly refusing you. This creates an emotional distance in your relationship. They are simply avoiding you because they don’t feel like communicating directly. Spending time with you is not something they are interested in.

They are with you, but they aren’t with you.

Even if they are with you on a date or you are spending the night together, you don’t feel their genuine presence in the room. Something is always missing, and you know they are not paying attention. They would rather stay hooked on the phone than talk about your day.

You have more awkward silences.

Even though you are in a relationship, your interactions are mostly filled with awkward silences. There comes the point when you can no longer find anything to talk about. This is a sign that your comfort level with your partner is gradually decreasing, and you are alone in this relationship.

[I/c]

Ways to fill in awkward silences in public:

Always be prepared with interesting topics to discuss.
Ask questions to make people feel comfortable.
Listen to someone intently when they are talking about something.
Keep looking for cues to form good conversation starters.
Change the subject if things are getting too intense or boring.
Learn to find comfort and joy in the silent moments too.
Address and acknowledge the awkwardness in your conversation.
Let others speak, too, don’t keep talking.
Don’t lose your confidence, no matter what.
Know when it’s time to end a conversation.

They never share anything with you.

You start feeling single in a relationship if there is no efficient communication between you and your partner. They never share anything about their life. They are least interested in interacting with you, and you always get that feeling that they are trying to cut you out of their life.

They do things on their own.

Suppose you’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping with your partner. You suddenly see them posting pictures of their bungee jumping experience with other friends. This is probably the clearest sign that they don’t want to do anything interesting with you anymore, and you are subconsciously single in this relationship.

They make plans without discussing anything with you.

Suppose you are having a house party. They will make all the preparations without discussing anything with you. They invite whoever they want to and don’t feel like asking you if you want your guests to be there. This is a sign that your opinion doesn’t matter to them anymore.

You find them flirting with others.

Despite being in a relationship, your partner doesn’t hesitate to flirt with your friend or act over-friendly while sliding into a random stranger’s DM. They have lost interest and don’t feel like they have any commitment toward the relationship. This is a sign that you have to rethink your decision.

They keep talking about their ex.

Even though they are in a relationship with you, they can’t stop obsessing over their ex and don’t even hesitate to express their feelings openly. It’s a clear sign that they haven’t gotten over their ex yet, might want to get back with them, and therefore, you are practically alone.

They keep making unreasonable comparisons.

Instead of working on your relationship, they keep comparing your connection with other people. They might not say it directly but try to express it as if you are the one causing the problems. So, a partner who is doubtful and makes unreasonable comparisons is a red flag in themselves.

They never talk about the future.

As a couple, you must have certain goals you want to fulfill and for which you have to work hard. But you have to accept that your partner isn’t equally committed to this relationship if they always avoid conversations about the future. They are probably taking this relationship casually.

You never have carefree laughter with them.

You see those couples who always have their inside jokes and are constantly rolling with each other in laughter? You aren’t one of them. You and your partner are quite uncomfortable, especially in public. You have no romantic equation, and anybody can guess that. So, it’s just like being single.

They simply don’t care.

Doesn’t matter if you are going through a traumatic experience or stressed out about something; they simply don’t care. Their words and actions express how uninterested they are in your life and what’s going on in your mind and heart. So, you have a partner who is always emotionally unavailable.

[i/c]

Signs that a person cares about nobody but themselves:

You are constantly questioning your relevance in their life.
All efforts and communication are one-sided.
Instead of accepting their flaws, they attack you verbally or emotionally.
They are completely inconsiderate of your feelings and opinions.
They are never interested in anything you do or say.
They always avoid complicated decisions that require attention.
You can never rely on them regarding anything.
They are dishonest and would say what you want to hear, not what you need to.
They don’t hesitate to be disrespectful or offensive.
They have zero regards for your emotions.

They never express their affection towards you.

You know you feel single in a relationship when you can’t even remember the last time you hugged and kissed each other passionately. Yes, you have sex, but there is no emotional connection. A lack of physical intimacy is a sign that you are not equally invested in this relationship.

They never tell you how they feel.

You are constantly guessing their feelings about something because they are so discrete. Even if they are upset or angry at you, they will never express it openly. This lack of communication and bottled-up emotions eventually create an emotional distance in your relationship, making you feel lonely all the time.

Nothing you do can please them.

No matter how hard you try, you can never grab their attention. They are least interested in your sweet gestures to make them feel special. If someone is so reluctant to even accept your love but claims to be in a relationship with you, there’s something very wrong about them.

You are not their go-to person.

They don’t come to you when they face a difficult situation or achieve something great. They would rather share their feelings with a stranger than tell you. So, if you are with someone who doesn’t want to interact with you about anything, you are just as good as being single.

You have no sexual attraction toward each other.

Good sex is a sign that you are in a healthy and loving relationship. If you are not able to connect with each other in the bedroom because you have zero emotional bonding, it’s no use being in a relationship. This affects your emotional intimacy and ruins your mutual understanding.

They feel better when you are out with other people.

This is a clear sign that they want you out of their life but are not expressing it directly for some reason. If your partner truly loves you, why would they be relieved when you leave the house? They just don’t want to spend time or even be around you.

They pull away when you try to get cozy.

Suppose your partner is watching TV, sitting on the couch. You join them so that you can cuddle and spend some quality time together. But the moment you get closer to them, they pull away. This is quite insulting and probably their reluctance to connect with you emotionally or physically.

You don’t know what they aspire to be.

As a responsible and supportive partner, you probably want to encourage your partner’s aspirations in this relationship. But how can you do so if they don’t share their life goals with you? You will feel single if you cannot connect to their life, no matter how much you try.

They would rather help from others.

Even when your partner is going through a difficult situation in life, they don’t come to you for help. They don’t want your emotional assistance because they don’t think you can relate to their issues. So, if your partner doesn’t ever need you, how is it different from being single?

They have been acting too flaky.

They always make excuses not to spend more time with you. They are gradually blocking you out of their life, and they want you to understand the signal and move out by yourself. They are deliberately acting flaky to make you feel single even while you are in a relationship.

They chat with others when they are with you.

Have you ever been on a date with your partner where they just kept typing out messages instead of talking to you? If they don’t hesitate to make you feel so bad, especially in public, you are bound to feel single. Know that they are intentionally making you feel bad.

They will never go the extra mile for you.

They are too selfish to think about what you want from them. They never make you feel special or tell you how important you are in their life. This constant negligence and indifference will increase the emotional distance in your relationship, and whatever bonding you had will soon wear out.

CONCLUSION

This kind of toxic relationship is extremely harmful to your self-esteem. You can never be happy with someone who treats you so insensitively. So, the best thing to do in such cases is to protect your self-esteem and walk out. The longer you stay, the worse your mental peace becomes.