Making up your mind to have kids can be very hard for you to decide. There are so many things you need to consider if you want to have kids.
Sometimes, it can be scary at first for new couples. Thus, both parents need to have their consent.
But in some cases, your husband may don’t want to have kids temporarily or forever. In some cases, he may want to wait for a few more years and in some cases, he may don’t want to have kids at all. Whatever the reason may be, it can be quite frustrating for you.
Here are some things that you need to think about if your husband doesn’t want kids:
Given below is a list of the things you can consider doing when your husband doesn’t want kids.
Talk to him
Your husband loves you very much and wants you to be happy. However, when it comes to having kids, your husband backs away and you don’t know why. It can be frustrating as you always had dreamt of having kids in your life but your husband doesn’t want to.
So, to find out the reason behind your husband’s decision, you need to talk to him face to face. By using this method, you can figure out what is holding him back from having kids.
Now, you need to very careful when you start a conversation with your husband as it can go in any direction.
If you sound like you are trying to force him to have kids, then can badly affect your relationship with him. So, be as gentle as possible and talk to him with patience. This way you can understand the reason behind your husband’s decision to not have kids.
Taking professional help
Consulting a professional is a great idea if you want to figure out what is wrong in your life. A professional will be able to help you understand why exactly your husband doesn’t want to have kids.
On top of that, a consultant can also help you two understand whether or not you are ready to have kids in your life.
This way you can explore all possibilities and make healthy decisions in your relationship. It will help you in the long run and you will have a healthy relationship. However, before making an appointment with a professional, you should talk with your husband first to see whether he is comfortable with this or not.
This way you can make sure that you two are on the same page. It will help you avoid confusion or frustration in the future.
See if you can compromise
If your husband doesn’t agree with your decision to have kids, you need to see whether or not you can make the compromises. You need to figure out why you want to have kids and whether or not it is important or not.
If you decide to have kids without your husband’s consent, then it will affect your relationship pretty badly.
So, you need to come up with something that will benefit you both. If you are okay with it, then you can compromise your dream for the sake of your husband.
Don’t try to do everything alone
After finding out that your husband doesn’t want kids, you can get frustrated and can even through an emotional phase.
However, you need to understand that it’s not your decision alone to make. Your husband’s opinion also matters and you need to accept that.
But still, it can affect you badly and you may feel alone. But that doesn’t have to true as you have a husband who loves you will always be there for you. So, don’t try to do everything alone as it can be turn out to be very bad.
Just because your husband has said no to having kids doesn’t mean you get all upset and depressed. You should have the patience to wait for the right person to make an entry into your life.
Your husband may have said no today, but that doesn’t mean he will still have the same opinion tomorrow.
So, honor your husband’s decision and don’t try to force yourself on him. Respect him, love him and make him feel wanted. If things turn in your favor, your husband may change his mind about having kids.
Find out why you want kids
Before doing anything, you need to ask yourself, “Why do I want to have kids now?” Figure out what is motivating you to make this decision and why it is important to you.
You need to figure this out as then only you can understand why you want to have kids.
Finding the motivation is really important for you to see why you want kids. If your motivation for having kids is based on weak motivation, then you will lose interest in just a few days and you will no longer want kids.
He may be scared of having kids
Raising children is not an easy task and can be scary for some people. This may be the very reason why your husband is backing away from having kids with you.
He may just be too scared of raising a kid because he thinks he is not ready yet.
If that’s the reason, then you should give him some time and wait patiently. As you two spend more time, your husband will get more comfortable with kids and may even change his decision of not having kids.
When is the right time to have kids?
Many women ask what is the best time to have children in life. To know the answer, you need to consider two factors- your age and your financial stability.
- Age– The first thing that you need to consider before having children is your age. You need to see whether you are of a certain age or not to have kids. The perfect age group for women to get pregnant is around 20-30 years old.
This is the perfect age where a woman is in her fertile prime and can give birth safely. But if your age is less or more than the specified age group, then you can have serious problems while having a child.
- Financial stability– Another thing that you need to consider for having a baby is your financial stability. You need to see whether you are financially independent or not. If you are not, then you will have a difficult time trying to raise kids and maintain professional life as well.
So, try to be financially stable if you are looking forward to having kids. Raising children is not only a stressful task but also quite costly and you have to take care of all their expenses.
Thus, have children only if you are financially stable and can raise your kids.
Things you should know before having kids
Raising a child is very difficult and full of surprises. You have no idea how things may turn out in the future and you may not be able to handle it. So, you need to consider a lot of things before having kids.
It will help you to prepare yourself better so you can raise your kids the right way.
As you spend more time with children, you will get more comfortable with them. Here are some things that you should know before having kids:
The first few months are difficult
There is no doubt that children need extra care and you need to spend a lot of time looking after them. The first few months after childbirth can be one of the toughest tasks that you ever do in your life.
The cries of the baby will keep you awake at night and you will have to constantly check upon them.
Due to this, you will suffer from a lack of sleep, and even breastfeeding will feel very difficult. So, you need to prepare yourself both mentally and physically if you want to have kids.
Staying awake most of the time
Babies need to be taken care of a lot. You need to check them all the time and make sure that they are doing fine. If you don’t, then you will the cries of the baby all the time.
Due to this, you will have sleeping issues and may not even be able to sleep properly at night.
Sometimes, you may even have to stay awake all night trying to make your baby sleep. During the first few months, you will feel very tired as you are constantly checking on your baby. One can easily say that this job is far more difficult than any other job.
You don’t need to buy all the baby products
When you are expecting a baby soon, you may think that you will need to buy a lot of baby stuff needed for the baby.
However, that is not true and you don’t need to have all the baby products out there in the market.
All you need to do is choose the specific products that essential for babies and leave the rest. You can always buy these products later on when you feel the need of doing so.
Be financially ready
Raising children can cost you a lot of money in these times. You need to buy several baby products, school fees, toys, and so on.
If you lack the required funds to raise a kid, then you will face a lot of difficulties trying to raise your child.
So, before having kids, make sure that you have enough money to raise your child. You can also manage your finances by reducing the baby care products that you do not need. By doing so, you can save some money and save it for some other time.
You will be busy all the time
After you give birth, you will be spending a lot of your time on your baby. You will no longer be able to focus on yourself and will have very little time to do so.
Most of your time, you will check on your baby.
Due to this, you have hardly any time left for yourself and won’t be able to focus on your life. If you do work from home jobs, you will see that you are no longer able to work efficiently because of the kid. So, be completely sure before having a baby.
You can’t go out alone anymore
Once you become a parent, you will no longer be able to enjoy a short walk or go out and have some fun. You can no longer go for a short run or a walk whenever you want.
It’s because you will have to take care of your baby and take him/her with you wherever you go.
So you can say goodbye to running but can go for a walk with your baby. So be sure that you ready to take all the steps and will do anything for your children.
Get ready for a massive change
Becoming a parent is not easy and there are so many things that you need to do every day. It can be very tiresome as you work all day taking care of your child.
At first, all these will feel strange as you were not expecting such a massive change in your life.
You are no longer alone and you have a kid you need to take off. So, you need to prepare yourself both mentally and physically if you truly want to be able to take care of all the needs of your children.
Don’t expect a lot from your child
Not all children are born the same and have different weaknesses and strengths. Just because your baby is unable to do something, you should not jump to the conclusion that your child is not normal.
You need to stop expecting a lot from your children and wait patiently.
Some kids take around 10 years to walk up straight while some learn to walk in just a couple of years. So, you need to understand your child and let him/her grow at their own pace.
If you do this, then you will have the best possible experience with your children in the future.